A note on the RealAudio files: Please make sure you have downloaded the most recent version of the RealPlayer.

aboot.wav (47K)
Banky: I've got a weird thing for girls who say "aboot."

Alive.mp3 (2.1 Megs)
Grab MP3 Players for Mac and PC here.
Joey Lauren Adams sings 'Alive'.

alive.wav (1439K)
Joey Lauren Adams sings 'Alive'.

Real Audio: Joey Lauren Adams sings 'Alive'.

archie.wav (123K)
Hooper: Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch.

babytalk.wav (112K)
Jay: Snootchie Bootchies.... That is fucking baby talk

band.wav (80K)
Jay: There's always the band... of the hand

bankholdup.wav (12K)
Holden: BankHoldUp.

beginend.wav (73K)
Hooper: How do you begin and end a question with the same word like that...

benlove.wav (27K)
Holden: Can't do it 'G', I'm in love.

birthday.wav (442K)
Holden: It's your birthday... it's your birthday.

blackbeauty.wav (78K)
Banky:...and then Black Beauty couldn't take it any longer...

blackrage.wav (78K)

Real Audio: Silent Bob Speaks

brandi.wav (307K)
Banky talks about going down on Brandi Svenning

bustamove.wav (384K)
Jay: You need to throw some pussy in that book man.

cabbage.wav (29K)
Holden: Hey lady you fucked up my cabbage patch!

cereal.wav (64K)
Jay: Looks like someone shit in his cereal.

chalk.wav (41K)
Banky: I'll trace a chalk line around you dead fucking body!

chasingamy.wav (64K)
Silent Bob: So I've spent everyday since then chasing Amy.

chasingamy1.wav (224K)
Silent Bob: You're Chasing Amy.

cocknocker.wav (35K)
Banky: Fucking cock-knocker!

cohee.wav (606K)
Cohee Lundin on Alyssa Jones

curb.wav (64K)
Jay: Kick her to the fucking curb man...

dangerous.wav (41K)
Holden: You're a dangerous person to know.

degrassi.wav (131K)
Banky: ...get a pizza, watch DeGrassi Jr High

dickfart.wav (40K)
Holden: The big bucks are in dick and fart jokes

dog.wav (192K)
Jay: Yo, one time I heard she had this dog...

essential.wav (138K)
Jay: Boiling it down to the essentials

filet.wav (176K)
Jay: ...getting a little of that filet 'o fish sammich going on?

fingercuffs.wav (144K)
Jay: Fingercuffs? You're dating fingercuffs?

flando.wav (17K)
Hooper: Fuck Lando Calrissian

flynt.wav (17K)
Holden: Who are you...Larry fucking Flynt?

ftracer.wav (38K)
Fucking tracer!

funny.wav (52K)
Banky: How does one man get to be so funny?

grandcanyon.wav (96K)
Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about fit into the Grand fucking Canyon.

headache.wav (288K)
Silent Bob: ... you're giving me a headache.

hooch.wav (29K)
Banky: Allright, bring on the free hooch!

horse.wav (29K)
Banky: I like the idea of a chick with a horse.

imagine.wav (37K)
Banky: Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!

infant.wav (70K)
Hooper:That's funny, he says you're hung like an infant.

jay.wav (55K)
Jay: I'm people who KNOW people...

jay1.wav (81K)
Jay: Yo Flo...whip me up a toasted bagel

Dave Pirner's jazzy score. (Played during the Jay and Silent Bob scene)

Real Audio: Jay and Silent Bob meet Holden McNeil

laid.wav (33K)
Holden: So what'd you do last night?

live.wav (88K)
Banky: When are we gonna see this kinda shit live without paying for it?

mall.wav (176K)
Holden: Were you at the mall again or something?

manyfaces.wav (96K)
Jay: There's one bitch in the world, one bitch with many faces.

mysterio.wav (32K)
Jay: Tell me her name Mysterio...

mothertrace.wav (18K)
Banky: Your mother's a tracer!

muckin.wav (32K)
You're mucking with a 'G' you fucking tracer!

ninny.wav (224K)
Jay: Think good you fucking ninny shithead...

noonch.wav (26K)
Jay: "Noooonch"

nubian.wav (36K)
Banky: What's a nubian?

pressing.wav (98K)
Jay: "Pressing charges? I get that a lot..."

quiz.wav (395K)
Holden and Alyssa on the Jersey suburbs.

salad.wav (32K)
Jay: Toss the salad.

sharedmoment.wav (97K)
Holden: ...we 'shared' a moment.

shaver.wav (13K)
Tell him little shaver.

snootchie.wav (31K)
Execs: "Snootchie Bootchies!"

speech.wav (1903K)
Holden's love speech.

Real Audio: Holden's love speech.

stay.wav (739K)
A fragment of the song 'Stay' by Coal.

Real Audio: A fragment of the song 'Stay' by Coal.

story.wav (288K)
Jay: Why do you always gotta tell that fucking gay story for?

streisand.wav (352K)
Holden: You sound like Barbara Streisand...

thorax.wav (26K)
Banky: He's lucky I didn't put my pen through his thorax!

tonsofun.wav (22K)
Jay: Get up tons of fun.

tracer.wav (10K)
Kid: You're just a tracer.

tracer2.wav (30K)
Then just say it - you're a tracer.

tubeofwonderful.wav (1102K)
Opening Credits tune - Dave Pirner's 'Tube of Wonderful"

Real Audio: Opening Credits tune - Dave Pirner's 'Tube of Wonderful"

vegas.wav (96K)
Silent Bob: Did you knw that I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?

whiteman.wav (96K)
Hooper: Never take your eye off the man.

yanni.wav (56K)
Hooper: Ooooh, Yanni!

yoda.wav (112K)
Silent Bob: Do or do not, there is no try.