Whats the best piece of gossip you ever heard about yourself?
Ethan: That I was Leo's bodyguard.
Have you ever wanted to punch a director?
Ethan: Yes I have, but I can't say who. I might want to work for him
again. Nobody Askew.
When was the last time you were naked in the open air?
Ethan: I don't know but it's been a looong time. I mean so long that I
can't even remember. Maybe when I was five or so.
What's a good cure for hangovers?
Ethan: Lot's of water before bed and a bloody mary in the morning.
Tell us about your first kiss...
Ethan: The first time was with this girl called Becky. We played doctor
and I anally examined her with the cap of a ballpoint pen, then we
kissed
in the closet. Romantic, huh?
What's your favorite pick-up line?
Ethan: "Wanna fuck?"
Where do you go when you die?
Ethan: A large vicious recycling plant
What's the worst smell in the world?
Ethan: Female rotten crotch.
How many people have you dated ever?
Ethan: Countless times I've taken a girl out, many times I've gotten to
first-base and a handful I've slept with.
Are guys just stupid? Or what?
Ethan: Guys are driven by a different force than girls. Girls know this
and use it against us, they're more calculating.
Who do you most want to punch in the head?
Ethan: The kid from "Fathers Day".
On the bottom or on the top?
Ethan: Depends, if she's a clit girl, bottom, if she's all about the
cervyx, top - when in doubt, go behind.
Have you ever been in love? And did you nail her?
Ethan: Yes, but she turned out to be a louse
Why are the French such boneheads?
Ethan: Years of bad dentistry.
What's the worst three films of all time?
Ethan: Gregg Araki's flicks. "Totally Fucked Up", "Doom Generation" and
"Nowhere".
What's your favorite vice?
Ethan: Cigarettes
What's your favorite sin?
Ethan: Lust
Who's your favorite Marx Brother?
Ethan: Groucho
Do you want fries with that?
Ethan: Negative, too many carbohydrates
Alcohol of choice?
Ethan: Gin's good.
The TV show you watch but never tell anyone you enjoy?
Ethan: The Real World on MTV
The movie you wish you'd worked on?
Ethan: Once Upon A Time In America
The movie you wished you'd passed on?
Ethan: Dante's View.
If you were in a band, what would you play?
Ethan: Trumpet
Do you vote?
Ethan: Negatory.
What's the fastest you have driven?
Ethan: 160 MPH - Chevy Impala, baby!
What is the most depraved act you have ever been privy to?
Ethan: No comment. But it was in a bar in Japan.
