Your mother is a whore

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: Just kidding. Bet your dad was cock of the block, nabbing a nun. : : (My mom used to be a nun and get this...my dad proposed to her while she was STILL a nun. I love the fact that my dad apparently makes a better husband than Jesus. I guess ol' JC just wasn't meeting my mom's "needs".):: : SHe has a hand. Jesus is busy saving humanity,he can't do everything himself. : : The amazing thing about kids who go to Catholic School is that you will never, EVER find people who take religion less seriously. Catholicism is just a way of life for those of us who were forced to wear a matching tie and slacks. We dealt with it in the same way that people in Arizona deal with the heat. We suffered through it and tried to ignore the effects it had on our lives. There's a reason why you'll never see an after-school Bible group (which you'll find in most urban high schools) in a Catholic school. Most Catholics I was raised with didn't care about the exact wording in the Bible. Those of us who have been forced to study Catholism and who accompany their parents to Mass on Easter and X-Mas are all pretty sure that we've got the "GIST" of the Bible and that's enough. :: : The problem with Catholicism in America is it's members are Americans. Americans are big stupid lazy pricks and we,the Soviet Union, WILL CRUSH YOU. American catholics miss the forest for the trees. Instead of looking at the beauty of the religion, they want a VCR directions version of religion. Something to follow,occasionally not pay attention to when they think they know what they are doing. So they cram rules down kids' throats while they go have a few too many martinis after work and beat their wives. : : I've never, ever seen church doctrine applied in any way that actually helped a person or (for that matter) did any good at all. Dogma (in my experience) is a rigid, restrictive, and useless creation of the Church. :: : Read the Bible. Dogma started with Moses. Though shalt not do Nuns. Your dad didn't listen. Child of Sin. : : Most practicing Catholics that I grew up with tried not to sweat the details. Why? I think because if you pay enough attention to those nit-picky human predjudices, those kind of things can destroy your faith. Do ALL Catholics believe in ALL of Jesus' teachings? Well, no. :: : That's the problem. Instead of accepting a teaching,catalogging it in the membrane, we FOCUS on it because humans need to BE FORCED TO REMEMBER so we FORCE IT DOWN YOUR THROATS. American Catholic teaching is like American history and Constitution class. Most of it is crap,instead of seeing the accomplishment,you have to memorize the dates and write essays about why I'm proud to be American because we beat the English,who were bad because they took away the rights we will soon take away from the dirty red indians who were savages and they lost to Sherman in the Battle of Sphincter forest in 1844. : They believe in a lot of them, but then again, most of them are just standard moral codes. Do ALL Catholics believe in transubstantion, the physical transformation of body and blood? No, a lot of them just think it's a wheat wafer and the cheapest, nastiest wine the Church could buy.:: : GRape juice,usually. unless your Priest is a drunken Frenchman. : Do ALL Catholics believe in the moral infallibility of the Pope? To be honest, I've never met one single Catholic who does. :: : I do. I really do. Jp is the Mack. : : No one I know BELIEVES that that the bread and wine is the body and blood of Christ, but a lot of people I know find the IDEA of that kind of sacrifice to be a vastly spiritual experience. :: : I do. I also belive in Stigmata and I asked a Priest to call me the next time he does an Exorcism. I want to see an Exorcism. I want to personally punch the Devil in the face. : : ::However, I fully acknowledge that not everyone has lived my life, so your experiences may be different.:: : I lived your life. Why did you lose your virginity to that homeless guy? : : I don't believe in the Catholic Church at all, but it sure has given me a few good ideas. : I believe in the Church. And If Kevin does indeed believe that(@ days until I see Dogma),he can go be a Protestant because,even if he denies it,he is one. : : : PS - I also agree that going to Catholic school helped me catch more references in "Dogma" than my heathen wife was able to. On the other hand, my extensive reading of "Thor" also helped me clean up on the "Norse Mythology" category on "Jeopardy" the other night, so... : : PPS - Sorry this is so damn long.:: : Can I have your Mother's phone number?

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