Posted by ghostmann at 207.159.59.9 on November 27, 1999 at 21:49:41:
In Reply to: Hey Kevin Smith! And Vincent too! Dig this! posted by Mr. Apathy on November 27, 1999 at 20:45:07:
: Pay attention! I'm about to make you an offer you cannot refuse!
: Let me ask you something, Mr. Smith and Mr.Pereira: When you are busy being brilliant and making movies and appearing on talk shows and crap, who is feeding your dogs? Who is picking up your mail? Who is watching your T.V. and dillegently monitoring Baywatch for any mentions of you? In a word, WHO'S GOT YOUR BACK?
: Mr. Apathy, that's who! Let's be honest here. You can't be everywhere at once. And while you hate attending meetings and stuff, you don't trust your movies, your babies, to anyone else. You need a partner! A lackey! A flunky! YOU NEED MR APATHY!
: Let Mr. Apathy eat all the chips in your pantry, so you don't have to!
: Let Mr. Apathy keep your couch warm!
: Let Mr. Apathy riffle through your comics and magazines, so they don't get dusty!
: Let's talk to our satisfied customers.
: "Mr. Apathy is the best thing to ever happen to me. Now can I have my wallet back?"-Gary Coleman
: "Mr. Apathy is Dy-no-mite!"-Jimmy "J.J." Studwick, my cousin who thinks he's J.J. walker
: Here at Mr. Apathy, our motto is "We don't give a damn, and it shows." We won't give you some guarantee or service agreement! We stand on our record, until we get tired at which point we take a nap on our record!
: Now, your asking: How can we get Mr. Apathy? It's easy! Just one little E-Mail will get you your own, fully loaded, state of the art model, complete with flannel shirt and training in NHL '95 for Sega.
: I have seen the future, and the future is MR. APATHY!