one VA girl-fan to another (re:Relationship woes)

Subject:

Comments:
: Evidently I'm not Smith, but this is my (long) two cents: : : 3) How does the relationship between Jay and Silent Bob and Linda Fiorento's character work out?: : I don't know. I was hoping for a line from Jay at the end, something like, "Holy Shit, I hope she doesn't say it's mine." My muse is on holliday with you US peoples, but I think you get the drift. : : And also, I was wondering if you could give me some personal relationship advice. I know you're not a syndicated columnist relationship guru but everyone else I could ask and have asked can't give me what I feel would be a complete answer. Maybe you can't either but if I take what I can from everyone I poll, basically, then maybe I can come up with a solution.: : Okay, there's two boards. The reason is probably because this board gets so many hard core VA/technical posts. 'Not that the people on the other board are not VA fans too, but...in the future, I suggest you post this stuff on the other board, just so that you don't get the guys jumping down your throat about it, altough thus far you seem to have been spared. : That said, I've loved and lost as well as the next comic book reading, VA loving nerd..doh! (jokes, calm down). Anyhoo, my advice this time is as follows: : : I broke up with a long term boyfriend some time ago due to the stress of long distance and possibly not physically seeing each other for the next 2-3 years. That part's okay, it got settled and we're friends but then I jumped into a relationship with someone who had been infatuated with me since he laid eyes on me a year and a half before (his words roughly).: : Your friends with your ex? Wow. : Okay, I agree with long term relationships sucking, but did your Mama never tell you not to go into rebound relationships out of pity? I mean, I'm sure you don't think it's pity, but you don't say her's hot or nice or anything, you just say that he liked you for a hear and a half. If he was so excellent, why didn't you go out with him earlier? And um, I don't know about you, but when I hear that a boy's been infactuated with a girl he's only laid eyes on for that long, I start to think of him as having problems. If some guy used that line on me, I might think it was sweet for a minute, but...sorta scary too. : :At first attention and adoration was pretty much lavished on me but now the only time he even comes near me is if he feels ...etc.: : of course. I mean, he was infactuated with you. Girl, by definition that means that he's been obsessed with only a certan part of you and now he's seen all of it. Even if he (or you) had the best of intentions he didn't get into the relationship simply to be with you "for the good times and the bad times". He got into it because of something he saw - probably your body. I'm all for the "true beauty's on the inside" stuff, but if he fancied himself infactuated with you from the moment he laid eyes on you, it's for your body. He didn't say "from the first time you spoke" or anything else. Thus was he ever truely dating you or just his picture of you? Hmmm : So he's horney? Big surprise, he's a human being after all, and thus quite naturally is also a sexual being. Infactuation usually manifests itself sexually. Usually insensely sexually. Face it, he thought about you for a year in a half without making a move. He started going out with you to fuck you. : :So I shouldn't be so dense and either face up that he's only given me the key to his place in exchange for sex and he's tired of me or does he really still feel passionate for me and he's just one of those people who are ...well, subdued the rest of the time.: : I don't know if he's tired of you, but...usually when a guy gives you a key to his place, it's all about knocking boots. He doesn't want you to come over and make dinner sometimes (although that might be nice before or after sex) and he doesn't want you to help him out by coming over when he's gone to water his house plants (wait a minute, house plants??? here's a tell tale sign that the guys I've been dating have been way too femme!). He wants you to come and have sex. And well, for one thing, isn't that what rebound relationships are all about? : Then it's true that once you enter into the sex territory there's no going back. Sad, but true. The good thing is the change isn't always a bad thing. : :And it's not like communication is a major quality in this relationship. A typical conversation: Me :(50 billion times I'll say this. I try not to sound whiny but I do admit to saying this)Come in bed and play! : : C---: (might glance over with a bemused smirk like I'm kidding him. And 2 hours later) Ooh! Powerpuff Girls are on!: : Wait a sec, I too think Chris is a moron. He doesn't wanst to go to bed with you know? What is up? I mean, even Brodie, if given the chance would probably pause his sega game for sex. : Now he only wants sex on his terms and on his segual? Whoa! either he's having major mood swings or your post is. Also an option: he has a problem with you he's not telling you, OR you've been dating so long the party's over. : Dump the guy! : Oh, and don't say things 50 billion times. It gets annoying :) And truthbeknown, usually turns guys off :) : : So, does this scream "beating a dead horse"?: : Beating a dead horse? okay... : : Basically, everyone I barely felt comfortable asking advice on this would be either the women in my immediate family and that's like my mom's still good, on- going marriage or my little sister's limited experience with guys. Everyone else I could explain this to I don't want to hurt their feeling because it's either my previous ex- boyfriends or guy friends who wanted to date me and still have feelings for me. So, roughly because you have no idea who I am and that you create cinematic masterpieces that deal with the human psyche(come on, you do), you are the only person I could think of who could give me an unbiased opinion on the dilemma. Atleast I'm not pestering you for a job.: : Why don't you ask your chick friends? Guy friends who want to date you are not real friends. Either date them or tell them to get over it. Don't have a waiting room full of guys on the side. : Hey, here's a thought, find one of them who'll love you forever and won't push you aside like this moron. : Or even better yet, date someone outside your imediate friend group. I know this is scary, but you can do it. Go out, meet new people. Get to know them, and maybe pick one to try and go out with. In high school my group o'friends because so incestualized, the group fell appart and people were hurt. : : So if you do read this entire thing and understand what I'm saying and that people do have these problems, crawling to you for advice, then: Thank you so much. I know I write too much but I had alot on my mind and you do seem qualified in what my question is about. So, if you can, please don't go making fun of it and please write me back. Thanks, barbie_addict.: : Hey I write a lot too, but then writers usually do that (hardy har har). : My best advice to you is to serriously think about what you want from a guy. Perhaps it's best to walk away from this relationship - hey, there's nothing wrong with ditching guys who make you feel bad about yourself. Talk to him about it if you want (hey, girls usually like to do that. "We have a problem, let's talk!"). You'll probably get better results if you talk to him instead of us. ;) : And while your at it, why not have a talk with your guy friends, then run out and rent "When Harry Met Sally" and memorize it. : Regardless of what you've been taught by someone or something in your past, you don't need attention (and/or a guy) all the time. You are not a puppy! It can't be "love me! love me! love me!" all the time. Trust me. When someone of substance comes along and loves you fully for who you are (and not just who he thinks you are), it'll be much better. Then you'll wonder why you were spending your week-end worrying about this moron. He might be/have been sweet at one time, but memories and the occasional good lay can't make up for the rest. : Ces't la vive. If you want to talk more, I suggest e-mail or the other board. : Excuse me while I go hang up my shingle advertising free advise.

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL: