Re: Jay writes Santa (a joke)

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Posted by new jerzee grrl at spider-wj062.proxy.aol.com on December 03, 1999 at 22:43:43:

In Reply to: Jay writes Santa (a joke) posted by keri-jade on December 03, 1999 at 19:09:53:

: Hey, don't flame me. I thought this was too good to pass up posting.
: A friend of mine sent to to me. I don't know if they created it or altered it, but here for your pleasure is the joke:

: Warning, contains some bad language and some fucking funny shit.

: >>>Subject: dear Santa from little Jay

: >>> >Dear Santa:
: >>> >
: >> You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th
: >> of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things
: >>>that have occurred since the beginning of the month! (While filled with
: >>>illusion I wrote you a letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train >>>set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I had the best >>>grades in the whole school.
: >>> >
: >>>I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my entire
: >>>neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, >>>my silent friend and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even >>>help the elderly man who likes porn to cross the street. There
: >>>was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!
: >>> >
: >>>WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS
: >>>WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT >>>FUCK? -- THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING
: >>>YEAR, TO COME UP WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF >>>YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SILENT SHITHEAD >>>ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT LUNCHBOX CAN'T EVEN WALK >>>INTO HIS OWN DAMN HOUSE!
: >>>DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY
: >>>NEXT YEAR! I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS >>>REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO >>>WALK YOUR ASS EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU
: >>>DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU TUBBY BITCH!!
: >>> >
: >>>YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD
: >>>I CAN REALLY BE...YOU'VE BEEN STEPPING ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO
: >>>LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT ASS PUNK BASTARD!
: >>> >
: >>> >Sincerely,
: >>> >
: >>> >Little Jay, 10 years old. Red Bank New Jersey.

: Happy holiday season to all!

That is the funniest thing I've ever read.

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: : Hey, don't flame me. I thought this was too good to pass up posting. : : A friend of mine sent to to me. I don't know if they created it or altered it, but here for your pleasure is the joke: : : Warning, contains some bad language and some fucking funny shit. : : >>>Subject: dear Santa from little Jay : : >>> >Dear Santa: : : >>> > : : >> You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th : : >> of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things : : >>>that have occurred since the beginning of the month! (While filled with : : >>>illusion I wrote you a letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train >>>set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I had the best >>>grades in the whole school. : : >>> > : : >>>I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my entire : : >>>neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, >>>my silent friend and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even >>>help the elderly man who likes porn to cross the street. There : : >>>was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! : : >>> > : : >>>WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS : : >>>WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT >>>FUCK? -- THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING : : >>>YEAR, TO COME UP WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF >>>YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SILENT SHITHEAD >>>ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT LUNCHBOX CAN'T EVEN WALK >>>INTO HIS OWN DAMN HOUSE! : : >>>DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY : : >>>NEXT YEAR! I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS >>>REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO >>>WALK YOUR ASS EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU : : >>>DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU TUBBY BITCH!! : : >>> > : : >>>YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD : : >>>I CAN REALLY BE...YOU'VE BEEN STEPPING ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO : : >>>LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT ASS PUNK BASTARD! : : >>> > : : >>> >Sincerely, : : >>> > : : >>> >Little Jay, 10 years old. Red Bank New Jersey. : : Happy holiday season to all! : : That is the funniest thing I've ever read.

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