so is Brian Lynch's foreskin.

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: : Well, I was bored and in need for a good laugh so I decided to read the :ever so entertaining hate mail section. : Next time ask me to send you nude pictures of myself, you'll bust a testicle, I swear. : :Once again there are the right winged Crhistians who beleive that the :people from DISNEY/MIRAMAX are behind the ever delightful comedy "DOGMA". : Those stupid, stupid bastards! When are they gonna learn? Its like one of dem friggin Trix(tm) commercials 'silly Rabbit, trix arent for Jews!' : : Again there are people boycotting Disney and condemming it to hell :because of "Dogma". Now correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Disney drop :the title and now Lion's Gate Films pick it up? : Oh really?!?!?!? Thanks for clearing that up. I'm surprised that no ONE has brought up that point in the MONTHS that Lions Gate(tm) has held Dogma(tm). Good detective work Batman(tm), maybe Commissioner Gordon(tm) will give your ass an extra spanking tonight. : :Can't these people at least get their damn facts straight before going on :their religious crusades against a company who DROPPED the title so people :like that don't make a big fuss over it. : Has it dawned on you yet that maybe, just MAYBE you should bring your argument to the religious fanatics that produced said crusades? We're all well aware of the deal, my main man. : :Also : there's more?!? sweet! : :they act like Disney came up with the idea for this film. : Heh, the irony is that Kevin's original script had no swearing, but Eisner threatened him with anal rape unless some cussin' was added for flavor. : :They should at least give credit where credit is due!! It's Kevin's film :for god's sake!! : yeah, but it was inspired by Brian Lynch. The only part Kev added was the killer slapsticky golgothan humor. 'knocks strong odors out'== killer wit!! : :I also read some of the letters attacking "liberal Jews." What the hell :is with that now? We all know that Kevin is a Catholic. : I'm thinking that mayhaps you should start reading some of them steamy sex letters they have in Penthouse...they might soothe that little stress problem you got. : : Hell, this movie encouragesthe belief in God than insults it. : Really? When I left the theater, I was in the mood to give a priest a good ass whipping, or maybe kick a small animal. : :As WWF superstar (and new IC champ) Chris Jericho said, "This film does a :better job at turning people to The Lord than turn them away from him," or :something along that line. For those of you who didn't know, Jericho is a :strong Catholic. : Sweet fucking Christ, so THAT'S why Dogma's only gonna do 30mil...Kev has a fucking wrestling 'superstar' backing for him. You taking notes Willy Donahue?...for your next big campaign, get the Hulkster to backup with some Hulk-a-mania hijinx. : : I think Taking some shots at Religion is like looking at flaws in :humanity. : or feeling up a chick with implants. : :people wrote the Bible, not God, so more than likely stuff were :exaggerated. : shit, I gotta start taking notes! what a completely original thought! Here's a gold star for your forehead. Oh, don't be modest, you earned it big guy! : :The Bible does promote alot of moral values and Kevin doesn't attack the :Bible for saying them. What about the cursing, violence, sex and drugs in :the film? Well PEOPLE in the modern day world have sex, curse, are :sometimes violent and some of them do drugs. It's reality!! : nigga say what? : :I mean try to picture Jay say three sentences without cursing! : okay! Now you try picturing my hairy ass being eaten out by your sister, fun! : : Seeing how these Christians attack Dogma, here are a list of of things :they should attack: : I love lists, lists are fun. With the exception of Schindler's List...weren't there any fucking tanks and guns involved in that war??? : : -End of Days: A movie about Satan trying to take over the world. EVIL! : boogie-man evil, good pick. : : -Micheal: You know, with John Travolta, an angel who smokes, drinks and :curses! Blasphemous I tells ya! : maybe you should pick a flick that people have actually seen. : : -City of Angels: An angel becomes human and has sex. nuff said : Yeah, but it was with Meg Ryan, so its understandable. : : -Star Wars: They are telling us that the universe is contolled by an all powerful force. Where does God fit into that! : uhm, God is an all powerful force? : : -Disney's Hercules: They are telling us to worship false idols! :Eeeviiiillll! Eeeeeeevvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllll!!!! : LOL. You must be a ball at parties. Did you know that DJ Andy does indeed DJ? : : -Sesame Street: Bert and Ernie have been living together for 30 years :and not once have I ever seen a girl in their appartement! Also it seems :that we should woship false idols such as the letter "L"! And there is a :vampire teaching children to count, aren't vampires the lapdogs of Satan? :No wonder today's youth are so corrupt! : That does it. You, my main man, have to pen yourself a screenplay. I'll put up all the funding. If you could write anything HALF as funny as the above, we're looking to have bill gates as our personal servant of felatio. : : One last thing to any right winged Christians......................... doesn't the Bible say "Judge not lest ye be judged"? : then I guess you shouldn't be judging'em yourself. : : SS : You nazi fuck. K dude, now for my final thoughts. We've heard this rant before. We're well aware of the idiocy of the few who protested this flick. Why bring it up? Take it up with them, or were you just looking for a 'Amen brothah man!' from the rest of the board? Its in the past now, Kev's next projects are well underway...can't we look to the future? or at my crotch? : ---Little Worm On A Big Hook---

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