hitchcock was making movies before van sant

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: was born...you fucking idiot!! : : : Psycho: Gus Van Sant’s brilliant vision of Alfred Hitchcok’s vision of horror : : : December 1998 : : : Once every hundred years a movie comes along that changes the way we look at the world. During the civil war, the movies of : : : that era brought together the soldiers as they realized the futility of the battle they were fighting. "Down Home", the film that : : : united a broken country and made Abe Lincoln free the slaves, was the first defining movie of our culture. Today, I have : : : witnessed the second. : : : Gus Van Sant took a huge risk when he decided he was going to delve into the brain of Hitchcock and claim his ideas and : : : shots as his own. But the experiment works, taking a slightly scary movie and making it the most frightening, intense vision of : : : horror seen this side of "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues". The color makes this movie crackle, and the updates (making $4,000 : : : into $400,000) are pure genius. Who could have thought up these changes? Not me. But that’s why I’m homeless, I suppose, : : : and why Gus Van Sant and Brian Grazer run hollywood with an iron spoon. One of the major changes in the film touched me : : : deeply. While Norman Bates spies on Marion Crane he begins touching himself and moaning, something that pansy ass : : : Hitchcock would never have though of. : : : As Vince Vaughn undid his pants and explored his manhood, something about the reality of the scene made me weep. Seeing it : : : in color gave it that added push (when masturbation is portrayed in black and white it is not realistic) and I knew what I had to : : : do. Against my girlfriend’s wishes and to the dismay of the small child next to me, I slid my hand down my pants and connected : : : with what I saw on screen. Together we were one, Norman Bates and I, as we spied on Marion Crane together. We tugged : : : and pulled and I blocked out my girlfriends tears and the small child’s confusion. I ignored the questions from the small child: : : : There was no time to explain. I was having a moment. I was lost in a vision of truth so piercing that my body could not contain : : : itself. : : : Never before have I been so close to someone’s madness. Gus Van Sant is a genius. After I was done I explained to the child : : : what had happened and he left for the bathroom with a smile on his face. My girlfriend began to be turned on and we made : : : love and broke an arm rest ($20) Gus Van Sant is the most creative person on this earth except for God because God created : : : Gus Van Sant. After seeing this movie I am not sure who would win in a fight between Gus Van Sant and God, but I know : : : who I’d rather have over for a dinner party. Gus Van Sant! I would invite him over and we would eat hot dogs and discuss : : : how he thought up the masturbation scene. Wow! : : : I recommend that everyone sees this movie at least three times and never sees the Hitchcock version again. Also, rent a Brian : : : De Palma movie because he is a genius as well. Hitchcock is nothing compared to these two visionaries and just rips them off. : : : Watch their movies and look at the sameness of them. Hitchcock is a thief. I know Van Sant is planning on making USHERS : : : (color remake of Clerks) and a color shot for shot remake of Schindler’s List starring William H. Macy. I am excited at both of : : : these prospects, even more so after today. Gus Van Sant can do anything he want. I also heard he is doing a color shot for : : : shot remake of the 1902 classic "A Trip to the Moon." This is exciting news as well. That film is outdated and would benefit : : : from ILM’s special effects. I will see that movie. : : : In closing, go see Psycho tomorrow and support Van Sant’s experiment. If you don’t that would be a tragedy for Van Sant : : : and he might have to stop making movies. That would be bad so see this movie twice and tell your friends and family to see it. : : : Take little kids and tell them it’s not a movie. Tell them it’s real. If they say it’s just a bastardization of Hitchcock well, they’re : : : wrong, and show them this review as proof. Color remakes forever. Who needs black and white?

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