Posted by MadKow at proxy-362.public.rwc.webtv.net on February 13, 2000 at 03:01:17:
...but here's my stab at it:
-The Midnight Run of Jay-n-Bob-
Gather round and I shall tell
Of death, disease, the plague and hell.
Well maybe not, For I today
Will relate to you the tale of Jay.
He was a young lad, of the 'burbs
His method of speech was quite absurd
For "Nootch" and "Snootch" are things he said
And he wore a snow cap on his head.
He often hung with Rob the quiet
Or as he prefers, Bob the Silent.
For not a word he'd ever utter
Unless he wished to bless a brother
With sound advice, to help them out
But back to what this ballad's about:
One day our hero stood before
The local Quickstop grocery store
And in his hand he held a joint
And with his other he did point
his middle finger at the clerk
For at the video store he did work.
The clerk, named Randal, phoned the cops
So Jay and Bob fled from the shops
And before long, the duo did happen
Upon the house o' Walt Flanagan.
His guard dog, Krypto, was quite small
But his bark was not quiet at all
To calm the dog to be under control
Jay and Bob smoked him a bowl.
An hour passed, and Jay turned 'round
Saw Krypto lying on the ground
A stoner-boner Krypto had
'Twas bigger than a baby lad.
So Jay had Bob to poke his thing
That the Krypto dog might spring
But Krypto suddenly awoke
For he was jarred by Bobby's poke.
He sprang up ten feet from the ground
And chased our heroes across town
And when he finally went home
The time of day was almost dawn
So Jay escaped from that pratfall
The duo left there for the mall
For Jay craved a Julius Orange
(Fer cryin' out loud, what rhymes with 'orange'? )