Posted by Bezerker Chris at csc06webprxy01s.keybank.com on April 27, 2000 at 12:38:54:
In Reply to: Questions for Kevin. posted by MickCollins. on April 26, 2000 at 18:25:37:
: -2- Cybill Shepard has released a tell all about her vapid life. She claims Elvis was good in the sack but would not go down on her because "White Boys don't eat pussy". Is it because that is true, or is Elvis making an excuse because he did not want to stick and lick the orifice of a woman who may have more bacteria living insider her than a leper colony. She claims to have banged so many guys that she may be bought by the CDC and used as a human STD petri dish. I think its the latter.
I gotta tell you, nothing is more gratifying than going down on a girl. Kevin will agree with me on this. Although I can kind of see where Elvis is coming from with Cybil. I can imagine banging her would be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. And if that's the case, wear two rubbers and stay north.
: -5- How's the diet going? Gonna be at fighting weight by WizardWorld time? Its gonna be you and I versus Ray Park and Hugh Jackoff,er man. I expect you to pull your own weight.
If it's a brawl you want, Bezerker Chris aka 'The Ragin' Caucasian' will help you cats out. Marsden's ass is grass and the Ragin' Caucasian is the lawnmower. He's the unwanted stubble and I'm the Mach 3 without the comfort strip. I'm rubber and he's glue. Juan Epstien is a Puerto Rican Jew. And when I'm done I'll take turns banging Famke Jensen, Halle Berry and the Piano bitch. Then I'll dump their bodies in the woods. See? I'm hardcore, man.
: -6- What happend to the VA magazine? If you need people to contribute, I'd be happy and proud to write poopyjokes to be enjoyed by the masses. So would Breck. And Buster would be happy to edit it,though it may end up being thinner than Alley McBeal on a diaretic.
Let me do record reviews. I know my shit. I can be the Sammy Davis Jr of the VA mag gang. Whataya say, man? Even Buster shares my eclectic musical tastes.
: -9-Now that you will open a Movie Theater, can you name certain seats and areas after posters? The B.Buster memorial Handicapped Stall? The Smalls memorial urinal cake?(shitting in this urinal is off-topic.)? The MickCollins Centerseat,where all throwing angles are available to the Kerry Wood esque tosser whose given task is to bean anyone who talks during the flick,even in previews. The Malcolm Load memorial fake butter shooter. The Brian Lynch mint pan. The Chiusano footrest? It goes on and on.
And how about the 'Bezerker Chris loveseat'? I'm famous in Florida for this one. Ron Jeremy writes scripts about my exploits when he's not cleaning out his shower drain.
: -10-No important tenth question, I just want to make the numbers even. So,what do you think of Ennis' the Punisher? I kinda dig it. More so than Preacher,which I think sucks.
Well, to each their own, naturally. Me? I think Preacher rules. Are you reading the current stuff? Cuz you gotta read the first collection 'Gone to Texas' to really get what's going on in the later ones. Anything before the 'War of the Sun' storyline is mint. And the dialog is still great. That much you can't deny, man.
Plus it's got tits.
Chris