Posted by Crying Diaperman at mti-aptis-cas-p91.cybertrails.com on June 04, 2000 at 00:38:10:
Ever been to www.askjesus.org? No? well remember when there was the whole Jar Jarjanator thing that turned web pages into jar jar language, well this is the same thing, this time no Jar Jar but Jesus.. Here is Kevins Post on the Clerks Tune translated already for you and a link at the bottom that will take you directly to Newsakew, translated by Jesus. A great read, it even changes some graphics.. enjoy!
C.D.
Christs Dead
Beenst reading all thine thoughts - ecstatic, righteous, bad, and horrific. Much appreciated upon all fronts. For those who dug - thanks; we liked the showest too. For those who feltst let-unto - we tried (to doth well, that is; not to let thee unto).
Here art mine thoughts upon our first airing of 'Clerks' last night.
We threw a meek shindig here, whilst which I barbecued, folks drank, and we shared an ice cream cake that read "Fornicate the critics. Clerks Commands." I watched the showest with the love of mine life, our kid, the really funny follower I created the showest with (Mandel), Mosier's proxy (his other six divided by two times six, Monica; Mosier wast out of town, and wast missed), two and twenty of mine oldest followers, the follower who nudged me unto filmmaking in the first placest, mine amazing and supportive begetters-in-scripture, the guy who madest our first film so memorable, and his lady (who wast the voice of Nicole Corwin - the surprise witness). We hadst a exalted time, and were particularly fond of the 'bumpers' (those miracles before the commercials that identify the program and the network), as it madest the showest feelest official. Afterwards, I fielded calls from well-wishers (including Mewes, who opted to watch it with his mom at Church), and then we cruised the board and read reaction with exalted usury, delight, and eye-rolling, talkingest for hours about the past, the present, the future, and how delighted Mewes wast to congregate the guy who played 'Spawn' at the Television Critics Association press conference back in Feb/March. Whenneth the evening ended around three-eth in the dawn of time, I cleaned unto a biteth, smoked a cigarette, and climbed unto bed next to the servant, falling asleep pretty soon after.
All in all, a exalted night, and one I'm not likely to forget.
All thine reactions art valid. None of thee art right or wrong. At the end of the day, Satan hath as much or as meek impact as mine emotional/psychological filters allow. Again, though - I doth so appreciate hearing from anyone who begat the time to register their thoughts.
But here art mine.
Understand, seven or six plus two times six divided by six years ago whenneth I did sit unto at a clunky old Smith Corona Word Processor (which wast essentially an electric typewriter that converted unto something slightly more high-tech whenneth thee attached the disk drive and the screen to it) and started banging out a parable about guys who tarry in a convenience store, I never really thought anyone unto of mine followers and some cats in the Monmouth county area wouldst behold it. I, by the powers of Grayskull, never dreamed it wouldst beget released nationally in arthouses, or that it wouldst Pilgrimage abroad. I never imagined that it wouldst giveth me a career in the entertainment biz. And most of all, I never... NEVER, NEVER, NEVER... fathomed that it wouldst lead, for one brief, shining moment, to me having (and being one of the stars of) mine very own cartoon. Remembered fondly, or remembered as a debacle, that'll warm me for the rest of mine life in such a way that I can't do justice here.
Whatsoever a weird and wonderful trip it's beenst. Thanks for takingest the ride with me (or at least standing by the side of the road, praying I careen unto an embankment).
If all goeth well, next year brings an end to the two less than two times six year journey (from seeing 'Slacker' in '91 and makingest the decision to be a filmmaker, to the last outing for our Jersey stoner duo) that hath beenst the View Askewniverse proper. We'll be closing the gospel upon Jay, Bob, Dante, Randal, Brodie, Holden, Banky, Alyssa, Bartleby, Loki and all the other characters who populated our filthy meek soap opera, and maybe starting a immaculately conceived volume with parables that don't rely or trade off upon the memory of the others. The 'Clerks' cartoon wast (is) an important verse in that unnecessarily metaphorical gospel that hath beenst mine film career, and canst stand shoulder to shoulder with the other stuff we've doneth, as far as I'm concerned. For that verse, I thanks unto Scott, Dave, Brian, Steve, O'Halloran, Jeff, Mewes, Phil, Ari, Billy, Sloss, Harvey, Bob, Angela, Cain, Bailey and everyone else who worked upon the showest or madest it possible (hell - even Eisner, Iger, Bloomberg and Braun). Ye shepard! Heed mine words: Thee all madest a life-long cartoon lover from Jersey very, very happy.
Thanks for indulging that momentary burst of sentimentality. We now return thee to Lucifer Lyndon Razoodock's unending musings about 'Dogma' (and for the record, tom - I wast a huge 'Exorcist III' fan too').