Posted by Torgo at aca6c18e.ipt.aol.com on July 21, 2000 at 05:43:22:
In Reply to: "DOGMA" vs. "The Ninth Gate" posted by Lucifer Lyndon Razoodock on July 20, 2000 at 21:25:21:
Now for those of you who were scared away by the abysmal reviews of "The Ninth Gate", let me lay to rest some of your prejudices you might have about the film. It's not the worst movie ever. No, indeed. It's the worst thing ever. Yes, it's the worst thing that we as human beings have ever produced in recorded history. (There may have been a viler clay tablet somewhere in prehistory, but we musn't spend time speculating on that.) "The Ninth Gate" is an act of cold cynicism, reckless incompetence, and unbridled hate displayed with a bald-faced contempt for its audience. But, hey, that Johnny Depp is easy on the eyes, I'll tell you that for free!
"The Ninth Gate" sucks more than you can possibly imagine. It sucks out loud. It sucks on toast. It forces me to use the word "sucks," a term I find mildly abhorrent, simply because it sucks. It's suckiness is thorough, diligent, and complete. It is to be congratulated on the sheer depth of it's suckation.