Posted by CABJBLK at spider-ta036.proxy.aol.com on August 04, 2000 at 13:01:11:
Hey, Kev !
I went back over your post about your birthday and how you hoped nobody else fucked your wife. With that in mind, I believe that I may have the perfect solution to make sure no other man uses his unholy appendage on your precious flower. It came to me as I was watching one of my favourite films recently.
The other night I was watching "Caligula" (yes, the infamous 1979 $15 million porno starring Malcolm McDowell in the title role, Peter O'Toole, and the lovely Helen Mirren). While he's watching heads being chopped off in the arena while sitting next to his own sister, Drusilla, who he's fucking on the side, she criticises him for marrying Caesonia (Mirren), the most promiscuous prostite in Rome (and given all the fuckin' orgies, to be THE most promiscuous deserves a medal). Drusilla points out that Caligula will probably never know if the child Caesonia bears is even his. (HERE'S THE GOOD PART) To this, Caligula responds that he's having Caesonia guarded 24/7 by homosexual guards that have been castrated. (hint, hint)
That's all ya gotta do, Kev. Have Jen and Harley guarded by your own personal dickless pink secret service. Not only won't the ladies get fucked, but they'll pick up some fashion and decorating tips as well.
By the way, I wouldn't worry about Mewes. He's your pal; there's NO WAY he'd fuck your wife without telling ya. Although....if Harley ever puts her index and middle finger in a "V" formation under her chin up to her lips and starts wagging her tongue in a dog-like manner, then you should watch out.
You probably won't read this post, Kev. But I advise every man that does to take this advice under advisement. It's like my Gran-daddy used to say: "there ain't no finer gal than the one dat ain't yours."