Posted by "Fletch" at ppp033.leb.centurytel.net on August 11, 2000 at 21:12:48:
Hey Kevin, Thought you would get a charge out of this "Fletch" profile I came up with a few years back. I can't wait for your interpretation of a "Young Irwin" in the new Fletch Won movie. Please don't sue this poor bastard of a 30+ year-old who can only read the clock when it say 4:20...Feel free (As long as you kick me down some $$$$) to use anything in here (Like you need the ideas you friggin' genius!) to help further your ideas of the young Fletcher character. Here's my standard Fletch profile from several years ago (Before you bought the rights so Nah-Nah! As the middle finger rises and the nose is being thumbed at you:) that I still use to this day for any Fantasy Football teams that I play...
IM Fletcher Edit: Profile | Address/Prize Info
Belle Isle,La./LosAngeles | Fletch-Newspaper Reporter
80 Visitors
PERSONAL
Member name
IMFletcher100
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INTERESTS
SPORTS
Football (NFL)
Personal Bio
Who am I really?...I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling
walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train
stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the
area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban
refugees and I write award-winning operas. I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I
woo women with my sensous and legendary trombone playing. I
can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I
cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty-minutes. I am an expert in
stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe
and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a
small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army
ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was drafted by the Jets with the
first pick, I am the subject of numerous documentaries and I run
a 4.1 forty. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in
my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesday's I repair
electrical aplliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a
concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon
over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I
am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller
number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I
toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame
in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl
tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I
once read Moby Dick, War of the Worlds and David Copperfield in
one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that
evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the
supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with
the CIA. I sleep once a week; When I do sleep, I sleep in a chair
and with one-eye open. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized
a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I
balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On
weekends to let off steam, I participate in full contact oragami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it
down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a
mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams, I have
won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sir Lanka
and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have
performed open-heart surgery and I have spoken to Elvis...I
have done it all but accomplished nothing...I am Irwin M
Fletcher, Newspaper Reporter...Better known as Fletch. Call me
Fletch