Posted by SilentBob173 at cable-13-125.sssnet.com on November 12, 2000 at 19:24:07:
I heard this from a very reliable source. Or did I dream it?
Anyway...
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The movie will open with a pair of lips singing "Science Fiction/Double Feature" on a totally black screen.
When the song is over, then the screen will fade to an old Jay, giving a narrative. He says "I was 23 going on 24 when I saw my first dead body"
The scene fades to Jay and Bob sitting in a bar, and Mark Hammill and the reincarnated body of Sir Alec Guiness sit accross from them and ask them for a ride to Alderaan, er, uh Hollywood and Jay tells them to orally pleasure, him and then directly afterwards insists that he is heterosexual.
Jay and Bob kick some StormTrooper ass, and then hijack a car and head to Hollywood.
So then, like, Jay and Bob are driving down the road, and they break into a song called "Moving Right Along" And they meet up with Gonzo the Great, but they also meet many furry puppet-things along the way, but that's unimportant.
Then Jay and Bob accidentally get the Mogwai wet and then feed it after Midnight, and then they have to fight off the Gremlins out a movie theater and a department store.
They kill the Nazis by opening the Ark of the Covenant and melting their faces.
Finally they meet up with Brodie, but Brodie thinks they're trying to kill him. When Jay and Bob finally corner him by the railing of the chemical plant. Brodie threatens to jump, but Jay doesn't believe him and walks forward anyway. Brodie falls (or jumps? its still debated) and falls into the acid. They think he's dead.
But, like, the next day there's this guy who calls himself the Joker, and he looks oddly like Brodie. Jay and Joker fight a whole bunch and in the end, Silent Bob throws Brodie/Joker over the top of the Cathedral and kills him.
Gotham City puts up a Jay and Silent Bob signal. yay.
So, like, after that, they get put in suspended animantion. While they're in there, there is a radiation leak and everyone else on the ship was killed and they were let out 3 million years later by the ship's computer, Holly. THey meet a guy who evolved from cats, a hologram of a dead guy, and a robot.
But they lose those guys when they meet up with Doc Brown and his time machine and come back to 2000.
Finally they end their quest for the Holy Grail at HollyWood and decide to turn back. HollyWood is a silly place.
Well, there you have it, I hope its what you were expecting.
Cheers.
Jason S.