Kevin...I was at the Mall tonight...

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Posted by thx3188 at on January 09, 2001 at 01:21:57:

...and as I was leaving, this kid started following me. I ducked into a store, he followed me in, trying to keep just out of my line of sight, but I knew he was there, so he was failing miserably.

Finally, as I'm nearing the door, he runs up next to me and blurts out:

"Wait, Mr. Smith! Can I have your autograph?"

I froze, dead in my tracks. I looked at him with complete and utter puzzlement for a second until it hit me what the fuck had just happened.

"I'm sorry. I'm not Kevin Smith."

He looked at me as if I had just told him his puppy had died (Sorry, Bart), and then as if I was lying to him.

Note: I should mention that I was wearing my regular outfit - Mooby hat, leather trench coat, blue denim shirt, a t-shirt, blue jeans and combat boots - and that I don't intentionally try to look like you, Kevin. It just sort of happens to work out that way.

So, the kid thinks I'm lying to him, so I say:

"I'm sorry, really."

And I walk away as fast as possible, realizing exactly how much I both look and sound like Kevin Smith in that one horrifying instant when a fan asked me for an autograph.

My hair's three feet long, for Christ's sake! You'd think someone would notice!

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