Posted by Mumbling Wildebeest at host213-122-212-116.btinternet.com on June 28, 2001 at 19:54:39:
heres a little story i wrote.....i thought you may find it interesting, in a bizzar, yet humourous kinda way.....its called 'My Quest'....
My Quest
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Over the past 4 years I have actually been in outer Mongolia for in search of salmon eating llamas. Whilst on my travels I have witnessed many strange things.
During the first year of my trip I attended The School Of Spanish Goat-giraffe Psychosis where I learned many things including 'how to make celebrity-resembling animals out of Play-Doh' and 'how to Find a salmon eating Llama', which are both very interesting and useful subjects.
After I left the school I progressed to Ulan Batarr which is fine place where the people grow such fantastic porcupines and armadillos. As I passed through Ulan Batarr, I met a small, friendly Rubber Duck with whom I shared my Oreos. When we had finished eating I stroked my long, twisted beard and bided him a fair good night.
As I continued on my quest for the Salmon-eating Llamas, I came across a wise, violet llama who pointed me in the direction of the Mythical Creatures.
It was year three of my quest when I saw a 6foot Herring wearing Bermuda shorts, a green 't'-shirt and a baseball cap which said "I Love Richard Tingle" on the front. 'How strange', I thought to myself at the time. The Herring just stared at me as I strolled past him. I kept seeing the Herring everywhere I went for the next 2 days. I began to worry, but then the Herring just vanished. I didn’t see him anywhere for the next 3 days. But on the night of the 3rd day, while I was sleeping, The Herring attacked me. He tied me to a large coathanger and tortured me continuously for 7 weeks. But lucky for me, on the 7th day of the 7th week while the Herring was asleep something hit me over the head hard and knocked me out.
When I woke-up the following morning, I was untied and safe in a tree, 3 miles from the herring’s lair. In my pocket I found a small piece of paper with the words "Thanks for the Oreos" written on it. It was then clear to me that I had been rescued by the rubber duck.
2 months later, I had finally arrived! The Gateway to the Kingdom of Salmon-eating Llamas was right in front of me. Stood in front of the gateway was the same wise, violet Llama who I met a year before. I asked of him to grant me entry to the kingdom but he only replied "You have done well my friend, and indeed you are versed in the mystical words which have breached the immensity of space from the Orion nebula. However you cannot enter the Kingdom of Salmon-eating Llamas. It is too dangerous for you, as you are a Salmon"
'How strange', I thought. 'Why would the old Llama refer to me as a Salmon?’ I looked at myself in the mirror on the sole of my right shoe, and, sure enough, I was a salmon!
What had happened to me? Had the Herring done this or was it all an illusion?
But with no further thought, I turned around and went back home.
I never did get to see the salmon-eating Llamas, and to this day I still appear to be a salmon.
END
Hope you enjoyed it......
Adam