Posted by Film Loving Man at adsl-64-165-14-221.dsl.sndg02.pacbell.net on June 29, 2001 at 06:07:35:
I just got a copy of the screenplay and its true that George Lucas asked Kevin to be in the movie because of all the Star Wars references from the past. He plays Darth Blunt, who starts out as a Jedi in training but is turned to the darkside by the evil Emperor/Darth Sideous (anyone who argues they arent the same person will be executed).
Here's the scene in question (if Lucas asks you didn't get this shit from me):
INT EMPEROR'S STARSHIP
Emperor
Your Jedi Knight friends have lost and will not survive. There is no escape, my young apprentice. The Republic will die... as will your friends.
Jedi Blunt’s eyes fill with a kind of confused lack of understanding.
Emperor (Cackling)
Good. I can feel your apathy. Take a hit from your bong and your journey
towards the dark side will be complete.
Jedi Blunt
No Ticket!
The Emperor's glee turns to rage.
Emperor
Master Obi Stoned never told you what happened to your father did he?
JEDI BLUNT LOOKS SOMEWHAT CONFUSED AS HE TRIES TO PROCESS THIS QUERY.
Emperor (using Force mind-read trick)
Oh, so Obi Stoned told you that your father had died, has he? Obi Stoned lied to you, my young apprentice, your father is very much alive.
DARTH CHRONIC (Cameo: Jason Mewes) ENTERS FROM THE SHADOWS
Darth Chronic
That’s right you tubby bitch. I’m your fucking father.
Jedi Blunt
SNOOTCHIE-BOOTCHIES!!!!!!!!!!
Darth Chronic
Give into your fucking cravings you ninny shithead. I’ve got a whole fucking stash of Doritos (Paid PepsiCo Product Placement) and chocolate ice cream. Complete your fucking destiny, join us.
Jedi Blunt
No ticket!
Darth Chronic
Together we can run this fucking Galactic Empire. There’s all this fine bush running around like that Natalie Portman chick and we can use our Force powers to kick all the dude’s asses because they’re all whiney pussies. Except Darth Nelson – he’s harsh.
*DARTH* BLUNT SHRUGS AS IF ACCEPTING HIS DESTINY; HE FOLLOWS DARTH CHRONIC OUT OF THE ROOM.