Posted by Isis at 132.236.35.61 on July 11, 2001 at 10:43:48:
In Reply to: Kind words, but cruel lies.. posted by Darth Dobbin on July 11, 2001 at 00:58:41:
Here's the difference between the "friend" and The Dude. The "friend" may end up having rebound sex, after which he will probably cease to be the friend, or he will be shucked right back down to that pitiable status and the girl in question will act like nothing happened. You NEVER have sex with The Dude if you can help it. Because The Dude is for keeps, and girls believe (in reverse of the old kiss a frog he turns into a prince story) that anyone they have sex with will eventually either disappear or reveal his true reptilian nature. To keep this sort of on-topic and explain myself more clearly, in "Chasing Amy" Holden is Alyssa's Dude. She trys to avoid sex with him knowing it will lead to love which will lead to heartbreak. Nevertheless she cannot resist taking a chance on The Dude.
-- i
: ...Guys who end up as the eternal "friend" get no pity from me; they cast themselves in the role, willingly take on the mantle, tben complain with bitter, well-nigh misogynist fury about women being "back stabbers" and self-serving clap-trap about "nice guys finishing last."
: It always amazes me to see people so bitter and spiteful labeling themselves "nice guys."
: Guy in Question, the problem lies not with the women, but with you. Stop playing that role, and they'll stop responding to it.
: It's cool to be a Heroic Nice Guy, but you've got to have a bit of the Scoundrel in you if you want to get some interest.
: If you can see how the game is played, and what the rules are, it's nobody's fault but your own if you choose a bench position.
: And Isis- a word on the fragile male ego.. It is actually MORE crushing to a guy to be told that "when you're young you want to have sex with the wrong people and suffer passionate heartbreak"... All the "friend guys" out there WANT to be CHOSEN as the object of passionate SOMETHING, not the product of a more measured, wiser choice dealing more with the head than the heart and loins. It's the exclusion as a "candidate" that the "friend" guys get so bitter and creepy about.
: Anyway, the Gods help those who help themselves. Sir Jimmy,Better to "re-cast" yourself as another role than to attempt to be this fictional "Dude," who-best case scenario- only gloms up some rebound/emotional duress-sex that is later regretted.
: That's my advice, and I'm stickin' to it.