Posted by Isis at cau09.cau.cornell.edu on August 07, 2001 at 14:45:00:
In Reply to: Frankly, Smalls my dear, I don't give a fuck. posted by Isis on August 07, 2001 at 12:44:29:
There's no reason this should get any more attention than it deserves. I only said what I said here to try to get Smalls to understand that I don't hate him or want to attack him and I agree with him completely. Apparently like everything else I say it's more empty sounds in the air.
I appreciate the kind words but this board isn't and shouldn't be about me; if my words have no influence (so they say) I really don't want to draw any more attention to them. Write me and we'll chat.
I'm sorry I ever said anything, ever.
: You really want to know what sent me over the deep end of sanity (which you are absolutely right about, by the way)?
: Sometime last week I found myself awake at 4 in the morning when I had to be up at 7, wondering if Smalls' feelings were hurt by some upset, off-the-handle comments I'd made regarding the whole acronym-I-can't-even-bear-to-type situation. My life is hectic enough that I don't need to be worrying about this type of shit.
: You are absolutely right in so many ways. I took a weekend off, danced naked under the full moon, saw a Trey show, went dancing at the gay bar, and in the midst of revelry I'd still be thinking about Kevin and Kevin's fans and does he care and whatever. It's just RIDICULOUS.
: As for ever having ANYBODY's respect on this board, bull-hockey. I've been posting here for I don't know how long, sacrificing my own sense of light-hearted humor and faith in people's essential intelligence and compassion for the sake of pointing out that some things aren't cool or funny. Fuck it, I'm sick of being the PC martyr. The most respect I've ever gotten from you is an e-mail back in my earlier and more naive days telling me that I was ethically right in my opinions but that nobody on this board wanted to hear it, so I may as well spare myself the trouble. Damned if you weren't absolutely right.
: Yet I'm addicted to this board, despite the beating I've taken from you people I love Kevin's films and I absolutely love some of the fans and the discussions, including you, including Andy. It's hard for me to up and leave. I seriously considered making one of those horribly annoying "fuck you, fuck you, YOU'RE cool" speeches and just getting myself banned, but Goddess-damned if that Half-Baked motherfucker hasn't just ruined it for me.
: For your information I already e-mailed HolyToads and asked him if there's a way I can be banned, or unregistered, and I'm trying my best to patiently await his response, I know he's busy. I'm tired, I'm done, if Kevin doesn't care that the majority of his fans (judging from the 'net alone, mind you) are racist, sexist, misogynistic half-illiterate jackasses, well, why should I? There's very little I can do about it and I'm not capable of just ignoring people's horribleness without at least trying. I HATE those people who come on here just to dis Kevin and his fans but damn, what else can one do without sacrificing all integrity?
: No fanfare, no grand statements about the issues or the reasons, I've already said more here than I intended. I've done the best that I could and all I've done is piss people off, whatever, it's punk rock. I now return you to your usual diet of ignorant slurs, repetitive questions and "snoogans".
: Kevin if you happen to be reading this and you can expediate my banning, it would be greatly appreciated. There is really no point in my being here.
: -- i
: : It honestly sounds like you're having a nervous breakdown, Ice. A WEB-BOARD INDUCED nervous breakdown.
: : And here's the thing... before this? You had most people's grudging respect, for always holding your ground, even if you only held it in a very ad nauseum "never granting even the most obvious points" kinda way. My respect, at least.
: : And now, you're going off the deep end, not understanding the most blatant of jokes, wildly accusing people of insensitivity based wholly on their gender and ethnicity... being a contrarian just to be contrary.
: : Seriously consider just flat out leaving for a while, Isis, while you still have a little respect from some of us... no grand dramatic announcement, no "I'm only around to answer what I want", no lurking without telling us... just leave for a bit.
: : Chill down. Live in only the real world for a while.
: : And granted, yes, all the asshole homophobes have come out of the lurker woodwork, you're right, it's disgusting... but lashing out at Andy whose long proven himself to be a tolerant guy who just parodies anything? An obvious joke on POTA by sean, one of the smartest guys in these parts, followed up by Kevin... and you don't get the subtle gag?
: : Isis, you've seen too many of the bad guys, now you're looking too hard at even the most obvious of the good guys, trying to paint them ill.
: : And then, when you're refuted, you say "No, you're lying, it's all a coverup."
: : You've gone from our wacky representative of the "thinks Andrea Dworkin ain't radical enough" camp... to a flailing accusatory psychotic. Stand down... for your own good and ours.
: : Mike
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