funny story. NT

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: : This gave me a chuckle: : : > See, the way I look at it is like this: : : > The next level is fun. not many people venture : : > there and the ones that do find ample rewards. : : > I don't know why people fear the next level... : : > they call it uncouth, barbaric, even : : > embarassing... But I... I strive for the next : : > level... Allow me to elaborate... : : > (Dick and Chris: I was sober this time, which : : > brings me to a belated apology for anything I : : > may have said that personally offended either : : > of you. If I did or said anything that you : : > found OFFENSIVE, my bad. If I was just : : > embarassing as hell... groovy. I needed that : : > night more than I can tell you). : : > Anyhow, yeah... next level... : : > : : > As you all know, the past few months have : : > been... difficult. And for some reason that : : > came to a head tonight. Maybe it was Jay and : : > Silent Bob, maybe it was stress, maybe it was : : > the knowledge of quickly approaching the 4-year : : > mark, maybe it was a mixture of all those : : > thigns, but there I sat after the movie on a : : > friend's porch enjoying a beer. There was this : : > cute little blonde sitting next to me and for : : > some reason or another (theys ay it was : : > accidental) flung out her hand that was holding : : > her bottle of Red Stripe. : : > Her open bottle of Red Stripe. : : > Her open bottle of Red Stripe that effectively : : > emptied itself on my face, my chest, my crotch, : : > and my legs when she flung her hand out. : : > Oh there were mighty chuckles all around. I : : > smiled and picked up a bottle of PBR, covered : : > the mouth with my thumb, and shook it : : > violently. Oh, how everyone laughed at the idea : : > of Rob spraying beer all over the girl who had : : > just made it very difficult to explain to the : : > officer who, if fate were a true bitch, would : : > pull me over later that night and ask if I had : : > been drinking. (That didn't happen, but it : : > could have... I mean I REEKED.) : : > I aimed the bottle and let fly the furies : : > buried within that brown bottle of love. The : : > beer erupted out and hit her squarely in the : : > face (Shut up, Freud), her hair, her ear, her : : > clothes, her chest... oh her ample : : > white-clothed chest.... : : > Yeah, I laughed and laughed and laughed. As she : : > stomped into the house with her boyfriend (Who : : > looked an awful lot like Rocky, mind you - : : > that's the guy from Aimesville. not Balboa), I : : > laughed some mroe. Then I realized everyone was : : > dead silent. : : > What else could I do at that point in time but : : > quote Mikey - albeit under my breath since the : : > windows were open and she was standing next to : : > it - "Eh, she wasn't going to fuck me anyway." : : > Which caused me to laugh some more. : : > All in all, everyone thought I was a big : : > asshole about the whole thing, but I see it as : : > an eye for an eye. And a hell of a way to bring : : > a laugh... at least for me. : : > Oh, yeah, here's the neato part. I was sober. : : > Imagine that. : : > While, no, this wasn't a big deal when you : : > think too much about it, but I just wish you : : > all had seen the look on that girl's face when : : > the beer hit her. It was priceless. And the : : > stunned look on everyone else's face... : : > marvelous. It was a moment in time that I will : : > forever cherish. So, don't be afraid to follow : : > that first impulse. Sure, it's probably not the : : > socially correct thing to do, but I promise you : : > that good or bad it will stand out in your mind : : > for a long, long time. : : > : : > Besides, she was a prissy little cunt. : : > r

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