Posted by Adam_Hovey at proxy.caris.com on October 29, 2001 at 10:35:52:
In Reply to: hahahahahahahahahahaha, nice, very nice *nt* posted by hahoy on October 29, 2001 at 10:31:24:
: : : Aight, yo, check dis. Dis story be wack az hella wack, but imma pop it off anyway cuz da Shaolin be pissed off an needta vent. So bust this:
: : : Dis past Saturday, I be plannin on chillin wit my crew down at da local mall, pickin up some fly gear and some bumpin new sounds, like maybe some WU TANG! Anyway, dats neither here no there. Bust this... I be circlin tha mall parkin lot fo like 10 minutes, and there ain't be SHIT to park in, ya know? Muffucka be full up like Biggie's coffin. But den my homie Granmasta Harold be wavin me down straight up in fronta da Abercrombie an Fitch / Food Court entrance, yellin "Yo, Shaolin, bring yo black ass ova here, Nephew! I needs help beatin dis punk down!" So I stop my car right dead onna spot and hop out and give dis punk azz a beatin like he won't neva forget.
: : : Anyway, when I be done whippin dat punk ass like he jes stole sumpin, I turn aroun, and what I be seein? Da 5.0 be writin me a ticket on my 81 Olds Cutlass. Dat foo be showin NO respect to da 21" gold rims, neitha, kickin em an all smudgin em. I was hella mad, ready to bust his shit up wit a QUICKNESS. But, yo, my homie Granmasta Harold tole me to back off, cuz he be da baddest wanna-be-5.0 security guard in da whole Fairlakes Mall region. So I takes a deep breath, and let dat foo write me a $10.00 ticket. Muffucka be on my shit list now.
: : : Anyway, dis relates to Kevin Smith cuz when I wuz bout ready to mow dat punkazz down like I was Roseanne at a chinese buffet, I stop an think 'bout Jay an LaFours in "Mallrats." Then, I gets a chuckle, an it help stop me from wastin another 5.0. Which be good, cuz my ass be on probation an I can't be runnin from no mo cops.
: : : So, thanks Kev Smith, fo da movie, cuz I bee behind bars if it wuzn't fo you. Peace fo real in da '01.
: : : Shaolin Monk