Posted by Hibernian Psycho at c480626-a.hrvy1.il.home.com on November 15, 2001 at 18:53:26:
In Reply to: Ah, this is great. posted by Hibernian Psycho on November 15, 2001 at 18:44:05:
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
A: "Feel the World."
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."
Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is in Switzerland undergoing cosmetic
surgery on his pecker.
Then the description the California Justice Dept got from the little boy
won't fit anymore.
Another rumor has it that he's finally going all the way and changing
gender entirely.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson's found a way to stymie that L.A. search warrant:
He's invited Lorena Bobbitt over.
Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?
A: "SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!"
Q: What does Michael Jackson and Miss Bobbit have in common?
A: They both played with little wieners.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both have small boys pants at half off!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to K Mart?
A: He heard they had small boys pants half off.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.
Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?
A: He was choking on a small bone!
Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.
Q: How many times does 12 go into 35?
A: Ask Michael Jackson.
Q: What's soft and brown and sometimes found in little boy's diapers?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q. Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts?
A; He was up to two packs a day.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Rum have in common?
A: They both come in tots.
Q: What's black and white and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson.
Q: Have you seen the new Michael Jackson candy bar?
A: It's white chocolate with no nuts.... (but kids like it)
Q: How do you find out Michael Jackson's sperm count?
A: Look it up in Webster's.
Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, ok, can we get Aladin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video.
Have you heard that Michael Jackson was spotted in the River Thames in
London recently. At 1st it was thought that it was a suicide attempt
but it was realised that he was just clinging onto a small bouy.
Q: What was the big break in the Michael Jackson molestation case?
A: A doctor did a rectal exam of one of the boys bringing charges and found
... a white glove.
Q: What is the most difficult thing to get out of little boys underwear?
A: Michael Jackson's makeup!
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers?
A: To stop him from going OW! OW! OW!.
The publishers of "Where's Waldo?" have jumped on the Multi-media
bandwagon; This week they will be releasing a CD-ROM called "Where's
Michael?", which features elusive pop star Michael Jackson. Users of the
CD-ROM search through a virtual world of exclusive resorts and drug-rehab
centers for Mr. Jackson, who will be obscured by hordes of bodyguards and
lawyers. The only users who will be able to find Michael will be little
boys, who will then be encouraged by a 3-D Jackson to find _his_ Waldo.
Q: What's the difference between a plastic grocery bag and Michael Jackson?
A: Well, one's an artificial piece of trash that can harm little children,
and the other is used to hold groceries.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a racing jockey?
A: A jockey LEGALLY mounts three year olds.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and the PLO?
A: The PLO pulled out of Jordan.
In an effort to dissuade all this bad publicity, Michael Jackson has pledged
a significant amount of his fortune to found a new university.
It's going to be called, "Bring 'em Young."
Q: Who's happy when Michael Jackson gets a boy to stay over?
A: Bubbles.
Q: Which chips does Michael Jackson like to munch on?
A: O'Boysies.
Q: Where does Michael Jackson write his songs for the kids?
A: In his tanning salon.
Q: What did the mother at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: "Excuse me, but you're in my son."
Q: What do any of the Mets have in common with Michael Jackson?
A: They all wear one glove for no apparent reason.
Micheal Jackson went to church and confessed "Forgive me father, for I have
sinned with young boys". The priest replied "It's OK, I have done it also."
Q: Why did Pepsi sign up Michael Jackson for their ads?
A: Because he likes the taste of a new generation.
Did you hear that Pepsi signed Michael Jackson to another contract?
They felt that he was the only one who could suck that little boy out of
the bottle.
I want to see some jokes about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie!!!!!!!!
They *are* the joke!
If Elvis were dead, he'd turn over in his grave.
This is the worst news for the King since the invention of the child-proof cap.
Q: What was Michael Jackson thinking about on his wedding night?
A: Hmmm, now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own.
Q: What did Lisa Marie Presley say to Micheal Jackson when he popped her
the question?
A: "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing... NO KIDS!"
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A: About two dress sizes!!!
If Lisa Marie Presley-Jackson really is expecting, do you suppose
that she and Michael will ask Woody Allen to be the godfather?
Little known fact:
While in San Diego [ in July 1989 ], Dan Quayle called Michael Jackson and
congratulated him on the 20th Anniversary of his moonwalk.
What do we have here?
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--- Michael Jackson and Woody Allen out on a double date!