That's what my therapist tells me...

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: : : : : I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: : : : : : I do physical labor. : : : : : I work at great depths. : : : : : I plunge headfirst into everything I do. : : : : : I do not get weekends or public holidays off. : : : : : I work in a damp environment. I don’t get paid overtime. : : : : : I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. : : : : : I work in high temperatures. : : : : : My work exposes me to contagious diseases. : : : : : ............................................................ : : : : : Dear Penis, : : : : : After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: : : : : : You do not work 8 hours straight. : : : : : You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods. : : : : : You do not always follow the orders of the management team. : : : : : You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. : : : : : You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. : : : : : You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. : : : : : You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. : : : : : You will retire well before you are 65. : : : : : You are unable to work double shifts. : : : : : You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task. : : : : : And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags. : : : : : Sincerely, The Management

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