Posted by phone monkey at jerry1.healthpartners.com on March 01, 2002 at 18:31:44:
In Reply to: Yes!! Congratulations! (But I buy from Stash -- posted by phone monkey on March 01, 2002 at 18:17:49:
So, I don't know if you'll read this, or if you read it the first time I included this back story here. But I am genuinely thrilled for your success because of your talent and for what you have written has meant to me, and this kind of explains that.
Thinking back on Clerks, actually before Clerks, I was working in a liquor store and it seemed like everyday Dave Pirner would come in and buy a 12-pack, no hard stuff. I fumbled with the change everytime, and I'd think, what's he writing now? Nothing going on in my life, waiting for the next CD, next movie to come out.
We lived on our bikes, and could barely afford to make the student loan payments, but we always had cigarettes and coffee.
Not hard to keep the place clean, really, since we didn't own stuff. There were just lots of piles of paper around all the time, books.
I had a roommate who liked to dumster dive at the flowershop and fill the house with slightly wilting flowers. I'd do a headcount some mornings to try to figure out how many people would be staying for breakfast.
So, then Clerks came out a while later, and I thought, huh, maybe that song was what he was writing.
It seemed to fit the neighborhood, the crowd around there.
The movie ... I was blown away by the movie. I hadn't seen anything like that. I saw Slackers, but that was painful, too hard to watch. Clerks didn't seem to be against us. It didn't seem to be against anybody, except maybe high school guidance counselors, and didn't everybody have atleast one story about them. Mine was an alcoholic.
So, why did I find the commercial stuff so hard?
I guess that what brought me here to this website is that I'm not in that place anymore. I sure can't pack everything I own on my bike anymore. And sometimes I miss that. It was chaotic and uncertain, but there seemed to be less noise to filter out. Or maybe we were playing the Pixies and Bob Mould so loud we couldn't hear anything outside of ourselves. We sure didn't listen to anyone outside of ourselves.
It's hard to face the difference between what you value, what it's worth, how much it costs, and what you own. I didn't have a plan to be where I am, but I like it. It's not what I thought it would be. Sometimes I wish I had more of the past life still with me. But less stuff.
Yesterday I saw some posts about items for sale, and I guess I meant to take back what I wrote - it was unfair. It's not any commercial aspect of this place that was getting to me - it's me. It's change.
Nobody is going to have read down this far, so I can be pretty sure I'm talking to myself. Pleased to meet me (another favorite we'd play).