Posted by jurassiraptor at 12-218-170-102.client.mchsi.com on June 29, 2002 at 02:12:06:
In Reply to: Give it a rest, I was only kidding.*nt* posted by RST-1039 on June 29, 2002 at 02:04:35:
: : Then why not just close the board to the public and give only the established regulars password-access to it?
: : This is a public board so everyone can enjoy it -- whether they've been here for 10 years or 10 minutes.
: : : : So, you're saying no new people can ever come here? That's dumb.
: : : :
: : : : : Because we really read this tonight
: : : : :
: : : : : Since the dawn of time, the human race has been factioned into two
: : : : : groups: the People and the Newbies. The People are smart,
: : : : : intelligent beings with social skills and superior intellect that far
: : : : : surpasses that of the Newbie. They are cunning and quick, whereas
: : : : : Newbies are slow and dimwitted. The People rejoice in their love and
: : : : : worship of their totum god Kevin Smith, or Silent Bob as he is often
: : : : : called by the younger Newbies who do not know His name. Many of
: : : : : the Newbie tribe share in the worship of Kevin Smith, and come to
: : : : : His sacred grounds (lovingly named the "VA Board" by the
: : : : : commoners) to state their opinions and to ask questions of their god
: : : : : and the People tribe. But all is not well, because the opinions and
: : : : : questions the Newbies raise are dull and repetitive, and are often
: : : : : deragotory towards the almighty Kevin Smith. This angers the
: : : : : People, who join forces to slander and abuse the Newbie tribe until
: : : : : they learn to ask smart, witty questions and state opinions that show
: : : : : a sense of depth. The People, as well as their fearless god Kevin
: : : : : Smith, believe that this can be better achieved if the Newbies read
: : : : : the sacred tablets known only as "The Summaries", which many
: : : : : Newbies forsake. This disregard for the ancient writings leads to the
: : : : : problems stated above. The lack of knowledge among the Newbies
: : : : : has caused great conflict and discomfort within the VA Board, so the
: : : : : People proclaim it their lawful duty to slay the Newbies until they
: : : : : learn once and for all that there is no room in the VA Board for the
: : : : : misguided, unintelligent posts that so often occupy their territory.
: : : : : How will this great war end? Only the omnipotent Kevin Smith truly
: : : : : knows.
: : : : : ------------------------------------------------------------------------