Posted by pixies chick at 1cust20.tnt1.minneapolis3.mn.da.uu.net on July 08, 2002 at 07:47:40:
In Reply to: My shitty life *OT* posted by danlboy on July 07, 2002 at 23:38:15:
: Hey guys, i know your all going, who's this newbie fucker, i aint never seen his ass here bofore. I've been coming here for about 2 years off and on, but rarely post unless I have something important to say. now that I got that out of the way.
: My life has turned into a living hell this past week. My girlfriend went to a party at one of my friends houses while I was working Wednesday. She doesnt know any of my friends really well except one who I helped out by getting him a job where she works, anywho, I dont know what happened at this party, but I got a call the next day from my girl saying how she heard all this stuff that made her sick, how I've talked all kinds of shit about her to my friends(which has never happened)and how she hates me. Ive talked to everyone at the party, all (supposedly) good friends of mine, and nobody has a clue what she's riled up about. She wont tell me what I supposedly said, saying, "Oh you know what you said, why should I repeat it." and tomorrow she's bringing one of my best friends (the guy who I got the job for with her) to my house with her to get all her belongings. I talked to the guy and he says he has no idea whats going on, and didnt even know we were fighting. He's just coming because she asked him to, she soesn't want to face me alone. The most fucked up part of all this is, we were going to see her favorite band, The Lawrence Arms, play this saturday, and I was going to propose to her there. but now she wants nothing to do with me and I cant find out why.
: Sorry to lay this all on you, but I was wanting some advice, opinions, bashing, whatever, because this has been driving me nuts for the past 4 days and im about ready to snap. Oh, and to not make this totally off topic, I have a J&SB tattoo, if you go to the stash, there's pictures of it/me on the wall between the shirts and the register.
: Thanks for the pity
: Danny
Of course, what you say to your friends is a very big deal. But c'mon - this has a lot more to it than that. It's about trust - she doesn't trust you right now.
Call her on that. But do it in a way she can save face and make a decision how she wants to proceed.
I'd lay it out to her like this --
YOU know ME. You know how I treat you, and what has gone on between us.
YOU don't know MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS. You know what I've told you about them, and you know what they've told you about me. BUT you haven't seen us together, and neither have they. WE have NO shared history with them.
Then, as a gesture of faith, offer to tell the friends in her presence, everything you love about her.
See, if she thinks you are treating her well when she is around, but then talking trash when she's not, you can tell her anything you want, it still fits that pattern.
If she hears you tell them good things about her, you prove those stories wrong.
Or - she's exaggerating something that occurred at the party and is reevaluating the relationship.
Best of luck.
Pixie.