Posted by molting at 66-108-72-21.nyc.rr.com on August 03, 2002 at 21:54:10:
befroe I started this asked i ching to e-mail you, No. 49 again, 2nd time in space of a week or two, i cried for 1/2 hour. That was at noon today. i'm scared. I'm not concise so i need to list why i've brought this message to you now, at last.
1. I ching, Richard Willhelm.
2. Dogma, ist ever viewing in april, by "Fluke"!
3. Pasted of an Immature Boy who was not my friend it seems, his dad is the chief Fire Arms officer for lancasdhire Police the County whwre i live. I work for the Lancashire county council, past 13 years, admin.
4. Signed of work
5. Police, photographs, blah, blah, blah.
7. On way home from nursery in a beautiful storm out in the fields where i live, got home work rang hour later Jill my friend had just died. i'd been waiting for the storm, you can imagine that scenario.
8. did one to London on mi own, had a job to do, Tony Blair (I ching). Did job after 1 week as it happend not the one day i'd intended it to be. 9. Discovered William Tyndale there, you can imagine that Scenario.
10. POlice Search had been going on for 6 days un-beknown to me.
11. Home, parents been through all my papaers, taken papers, and kids clothes, bags, hold alls, etc.
12. did one with my two boys, 8 and 6 years of age. back to London, gave impression that I was going to Blackpool to my older brother who'd just moved in with me, can't stand the place, back to London (I'd never been there on my own, never mind wi Lads), left little girl, she was going to Pontins for a holiday with her dads side.
13. Search again, it seems when i was given a visa card 2 years ago they'd given me a 3,000 pound limit.
14. I thought I'd got work to do in London after a few days or so No. 49, oh Jesus help me I'm so scared. Got tickets to come to America to got to New Jersey, was just gonna go the shop, and then what? So I arrived Tuesday or Wednesday, this morning ranf the shop it's a no go. Did not realise how far away it is, money nearly all gone two weeks in London blah, blah, blah, trusting I am, in many moments.
15. First IChing i did this morning B4 the 49. was 56, top line, i shit myself, well I would've if I'd been eating, then the 49. But the first time i got that I'd already thought about the calendar. Hell fire i'm so scared Kevin. Never mind all the political stuff I knew how to turn it around, but it didn't feel right though so not Tony Blair again, his messg was about, something else, met his right hand man courtesy of the security fella of 28 years who I'd been speaking to in the House of Commons, did not even know I was allowed to go in there, then on way out discovered through gassing as usual to all people who work there that you can leave a note there, or lobby them, Blah, Blah, Blah. The claendar is not in his realm as yet. It's You I think, I'm scared. -- Where am I up to. Many Crazy things went on people wnating to marry me and stuff I was'nt doin owt though, weird times, new times Honest,
carzy
Who the Hell am I, single parent, 3 beautiful little gifts from heaven, 2 Dads, one arse of a git pretneder. So single after 9 years, last time that was occuring I still lived at home.
16. So sacred , feel so stupid, does everybody read this, Hotel manager helped me to get on here. I;m somewhere in Manhattan, Mid town I think they call it, paying double my budget allows, but i'm doing this and it seems the best approach. all the people who know ne think i'm on Holiday, oh my God, if only they knew, before I left they where trying to get me sectioned in the local nut house, a place my daughters father and other family memebers have stays in now and then, not me I'm the one who sort's every fucker out, pardon me won't you, but I was sterssed and Panicky, after that Tom Tit pasted me but that crack on the concrete, whilst my daughter slept up stairs, I was outside at that point, Blah, Blah, is what enabled me to be here now, Ok i needed it I could see that as soon as it had happened (day or so), but I was in a mess, cuz of his dad and all that, never pressed charges in end, but this time every one knew about it, cuz I had to go to the Hospital for mi head.
So I'm here confused, scared , etc....wandering, R U the Greta man on occasion, if not I'm really in the shit aren't I!
Then you've got this guy who works for you know and then who I started to watch, (ot up to date with films cuz of my choice of immature men, they stopped my music and then I cried some more when I satted to play my musicn, the shit's) so thisguy he chose all the scripts and you aswell between you both have my whole life in your hands and would be the only people i know who actually would understand anything I say/think, blah, blah, blah, so I've seen you once b4 in mallrats, when i don't know when it was, a long time ago, whatever, did not know you whwre you till got to video shop on e day and the new film was thare I thought Oh, thats them lot from Dogma, my kids play Dogma , I say nothing at all they just do not need encouraging. so I'cve seen 4 of your films now at that other one he just does my head in, it's been really frightening, I know you have them disclaimer things and allthat, but shit me, you know, thre is too too too much for me to feel comfatrable with, I'm scared. I've been dragging my hhels all day to do this, this is my whittled down version, the thing that has spurred me on is finances i can not stay here in this hotle I do not know what is going on, but after I'd done my final version did I Ching again it said no. 3 line 5. and realting 24, fell asleep during Return, fed and watered the lads, and then got my balls in a bag and brought them to the hotel lobby. I think you will have many "Crack Pots" approaching you like this, you must have if you know I Ching, it was that go back to "the Well",. I have to go and sort the lads out know, they are watching an american Tale on Cartoon Network, we've been in all day today, oh, the storm last night, we were in it for ages, fantastic, kids knew i'd been waiting for a storm, well Anthony did, t'other one is Aron, little girl is Ceri, (Kerry), I can trust Him most of the time, but He has scared me know and then I mean really terrified me, too too many co-i-n-c-d-e-nces fpr my liking, I'm not Crazy, this stuff all makes sense, but the signs are so profuse, birds nearly landing on mt God Damned head every time Iflamin well turn around. Thank You God, and your sen for your time. *NB My best film ever is always The Breakfast Club, and Judd along with the constellation Orion, is always one oy my Main men , and Marc Bolan, it's ace that you get to the fight scene I love it.
At work they sent me a card after Tom Tit, Fae my friend said watch Dogma a few thousand times Jo, that the Weed, (which I've had none of for over a week, due to my situation), and my kids in weird moments (re adjusting) was all that kept me going there for a goodl while, Oh and I Ching of course. So it's the Calendar that needs sorting out to align with the seasons we are in and then the economy blah, blah, blah. Ok I must go now, thank you for your time, I trust God, you will see this if it is the way, if not blah, blah, blah, I;m in the crapper, can not go over to chaeck for spellings really, this is dear to be on. Bye, Bye, JohannaI really wanted to be concise and I never stuck to my notes in the end, apologies are always something i give out freely.