Posted by Maul at mach.ddisp.net on November 17, 2002 at 19:53:48:
In Reply to: Attack of the Poems: The Jedi Rap posted by Barry Woodward on November 17, 2002 at 16:15:41:
: There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
: This is what you learn at the Jedi college.
: Live your life like a Jedi Knight.
: Always keep the goal in sight.
: When you talk, talk the right way.
: The power of the word is in what you say.
: If your thoughts are filled with love and light.
: I guarantee a very peaceful night.
: Whatever you do, do the true thing.
: Bless everyone and bless everything.
: May the Force be with you, we always say.
: To be kind to all is our way.
: To protect the Republic is our utmost job.
: From evil ones that would kill and rob.
: Be mindful of the living Force.
: When others are hurt show some remorse.
: You must always follow the Jedi code.
: If you don’t you’ll face a rocky road.
: Be mindful for evil looms.
: Whatever it touches it consumes.
: The lightsaber is the weapon most sacred.
: The tool by which Jedi battle hatred.
: A lightsaber is more lethal than a blaster.
: To prevail in battle it’s a tool you must master.
: Red, green, and blue are so much duller.
: Than a variety of sabers that are multicolor.
: Never lower you defenses and let out a laugh.
: Or you’ll end up like Maul and be cut in half.
: Throughout all the wars and strife.
: This Jedi weapon is your life.
: The Trade Federation made a deal that was hideous.
: They agreed to work for the Sith Darth Sidious.
: In return for working for the Dark Lord.
: They were promised a substantial reward.
: Little did they know they were only a pawn.
: If they really knew they might have withdrawn.
: Their motivation for this alliance was their insatiable greed.
: To get more money they would do any evil deed.
: Sidious wanted them to blockade the small planet Naboo.
: With their trade routes he wanted to screw.
: Darth Maul was a bitter and mean old chap.
: Who was quick as lightning and wouldn't take no crap.
: He craved revenge on the Jedi at last.
: For what they had done to the Sith in the past.
: As you see he had quite a tude.
: So he killed Qui-Gon which was incredibly rude.
: Darth Maul is a scoundrel and a rotten cheat.
: His force push knocked Obi-Wan off his feet.
: For his overconfidence he paid a price.
: He was cut in half by a lightsaber slice.
: Count Dooku left the order after Qui-Gon's demise.
: He formed the Confederacy of Independent Systems, which was a surprise.
: To secede from the Republic is the Rebels decision.
: It will only bring about war and division.
: This civil war will be long and bloody.
: Brother verses brother and buddy verses buddy.
: The Sith are behind the trouble, I fear.
: They want revenge on the Jedi, it's clear.
: It depends on whose corner the Chosen One is in.
: That is the factor that will determine who will win.
: The Chosen One you are, certain this be.
: You would accept this if only you could see.
: Your destiny is to bring balance to the Force.
: Obstacles in your path you will meet of course.
: Serve and protect the galaxy you must.
: If you don't the Old Republic will bust.
: Trusting your feelings is the key.
: To the path that will lead you to your destiny.
: In the time of greatest despair.
: You shall balance the Force for people everywhere.
: Zam ran into the underground night club.
: Obi-Wan ordered a drink from the pub.
: Elian Sleezebaggano tried to sell Kenobi a death stick.
: And he told him to rethink his life with a Jedi mind trick.
: Zam snuck up on Obi-Wan with the intent to harm.
: He could sense her so he cut off her arm.
: Anakin and Obi-Wan brought her to the alley to interrogate.
: They tried to get information from her but it was too late.
: From the shadows, Jango Fett shot a deadly dart.
: The projectile landed directly in her heart.
: On Kamino, Kenobi got shot at by Jango Fett.
: The bounty hunter he had just met.
: Obi-Wan chased Fett to his ship.
: Both men fought and did many a flip.
: Kenobi lost his lightsaber and got wrapped in a cable.
: To escape from Jango, Kenobi was unable.
: Both men fell off the landing pad.
: Jango climbed up and Boba Fett was glad.
: Obi-Wan put a tracking device on the Slave I.
: After all the Kung Fu fighting was done.
: Anakin was searching for his mother.
: So he asked Owen, his step brother.
: He said she's in the Tusken Raider camp.
: Inside a cave where it's wet and damp.
: Anakin took Owen's speeder and off he flew.
: He had a bad feeling and that's all he knew.
: By the time he got there Shmi was about to die.
: Anakin held her and started to cry.
: His fear of losing his mother had just come true.
: His fear turned to anger and the Darkside in him grew.
: Anakin's anger turned to hate as he bursted out of the cave.
: "Anakin! Anakin! No!" Qui-Gon shouted from beyond the grave.
: He spotted a Tusken guard and chopped off his head.
: Before he knew it the the whole Tusken camp was dead.
: He wrapped his mom in a sheet and returned back to the farm.
: And walked up to the homestead with his mother in his arm.
: The death of his mother had changed Anakin's life.
: Clegg buried Shmi right next to his former wife.
: Everyone gave their last respects.
: R2 told them of Obi-Wan's capture making things much more complex.
: Obi-Wan told the concil of the droid operation.
: With the clones he could not yet find a relation.
: Obi-Wan Kenobi wasn't lyin'.
: In the Genosis factories they were multiplyin'.
: Someone was preparing to fight a war.
: The crap was about to hit the floor.
: While reporting the news the Destroyers attacked.
: He was now in trouble and that was a fact.
: The Geonosisians locked him away in an energy shield.
: While in there the Force he was unable to wield.
: You should really begin to rethink your life.
: If you sell death sticks and illegal spice.
: Obey your thirst and drink some sprite.
: Just before a duel or just before a fight.
: Adventure and excitement a Jedi craves not.
: Resist the carnal pleasures of crack and pot.
: Danger you should never seek.
: By riding on an angry Reek.
: Fight the urge to dance and sing.
: For balance to the Force, you must bring.
: Anakin and Obi-Wan caught up with Dooku near his ship.
: On his shoulders Anakin had a big chip.
: He charged at Dooku ignoring his master's tip.
: He was thrown against the wall with a lightening zip.
: Kenobi's ass Dooku did whip.
: Into his shoulder and leg Dooku's saber did rip.
: Anakin fought back giving Dooku some lip.
: Kenobi threw him his saber for him to equip.
: Out of Anakin's hand his second saber did slip.
: With a flash from his lightsaber Anakin's arm went for a trip.
: Count Dooku, Yoda had once trained.
: But now Dooku looked at him with much disdain.
: From fighting Yoda wished to abstain.
: But if forced to he would bring Count Dooku pain.
: He pulled out his lightsaber after discarding his cane.
: The skill he fought with was quite insane.
: Yoda bounced off the walls like he was on cocaine.
: The upper hand Yoda was able to attain.
: But Count Dooku, Yoda was unable to restrain.
: After dropping a pillar an escape route he was able to gain.
: On Coruscant the clone troopers were preparing.
: While the Imperial March in the background was blaring.
: They were boarding Star Destroyers to battle Dooku's forces.
: And to fight the Rebels at their sources.
: The once bright lights of freedom were becoming dim.
: The future of the Republic seemed terribly grim.
: Bail Organa was feeling extremely blue.
: He new the Republic had become something new.
: Palptine had on his face a confident grin.
: He knew that soon he would win.
: Anakin and Padme decided to marry.
: Of their relationship Kenobi was wary.
: Their fears and worries they decided to bury.
: The secret they felt they were prepared to carry.
: Little did they know the decision was quite scary.
: To the Jedi Code it was contrary.
: The ceremony took place near a Naboo prairie.
: The minister was a man named Perry.
: They left for their honeymoon in a ferry.
: Where Anakin would pop Padme’s cherry.
: Under the tongue root a fight most dread.
: And another raging, behind, in the head.
: Only twenty Jedi have left the order.
: And you are a Jedi on the border.
: Jedi can't marry and it's not up for debate.
: Follow these rules to participate.
: Your love for Padme is busting at the seams.
: But you must follow your destiny and not your dreams.
: Your relationship with the Council you must mend.
: So your marriage with Padme must come to an end.
: From a certain point of view we all see.
: Your focus will determine your reality.
: If you become a hero don't be boastful or proud.
: You can't judge your worth by the cheer of the crowd.
: Don't give in to power and corruption.
: The easy path leads to pain and destruction.
: If you were to turn you would betray us all.
: It would cause the Old Republic to fall.
: The galaxy the Force does bind.
: Without it, it would come apart you would find.
: The Force is used for knowledge and defense.
: It should never be used at another's expense.
: Fear leads to anger and anger leads to hate.
: You better get out before it's too late.
: Do not mess with the Darkside.
: To save your friends or to save you hide.
: You must not lie or deceive.
: Or you will make the entire galaxy grieve.
: Listen to me and take this advice.
: The power of the Darkside comes at a price.
: You've decided to accept the Darkside cancer.
: I have to ask: Is that your final answer?
: You're the Chosen One and you think your fly.
: But you are the weakest link, good bye.
: Your escape I will not allow.
: This madness ends here and now.
: You've betrayed the Jedi and me as well.
: Prepare yourself your going to hell.
: You are guilty as sin and the court is adjourned.
: In the molten pit you will be burned.
: To Tatooine I took baby Luke.
: When I gave him to Owen he gave a rebuke.
: Anakin turned to the Darkside, I tried to explain.
: But he only looked at me with more disdain.
: He said the Jedi and I had caused all of the mess.
: I feel the same way, I must confess.
: My influence on Luke was his concern.
: He told me to leave and never return.
: Until Luke is grown I'll have to cope.
: In the Judland wastes I'll wait for the new hope.
: Owen wanted to keep Luke from his father's vices.
: So he told Luke his father navigated a ship that sold spices.
: Owen would try to stop him from racing by any means.
: But he could not sway Luke because it's in his genes.
: Luke, like his father, had the need for speed.
: An adrenaline rush was his need.
: Luke challenged Fixer in a skyhopper race.
: In Beggar's Canyon Luke won first place.
: When his Uncle Owen found out what he had done.
: He was grounded for a season, which was no fun.
: Get into the escape pod C-3PO was told by R2.
: To the sand of Tatooine they both flew.
: R2 went left and 3PO went right.
: Little did they know they’d share the same plight.
: Each droid was captured by Jawas that day.
: To sell droids were their intention to make their pay.
: Up to the Lars homestead the sandcrawler creeped.
: The droids were led out as they all buzzed and beeped.
: Owen picked 3PO and good old R2.
: When the red astromech's motivator blew.
: The Death Star can destroy an entire planet.
: So Luke got its plans and decided to can it.
: A really bad day Luke Skywalker is havin'.
: He's on a suicide mission to protect the moon of Yavin.
: Wedge's ship was damaged and he has fled.
: Biggs, at the hands of Vader, is dead.
: Luke use the Force and let go.
: Through your body let it flow.
: Now is the time to get in Jedi mode.
: Just shoot the torpedoes and let it explode.
: The awards ceremony took place in the throne room.
: Luke, Han and Chewie helped to make the Death Star go boom.
: 3PO and R2 looked on with joy.
: At the Wookie, the smuggler and the Force strong boy.
: Princess Leia gave the awards to Luke and Han.
: On both the heroes she put them on.
: Chewbacca will get a medal in the Final Edition.
: At long last he will get his deserved recognition.
: They lived happily ever after until The Empire Strikes Back.
: When the Rebels on Hoth, the clones would attack.
: Darth Vader sent out probes throughout the galaxy’s void.
: If one landed on a planet it would turn into a droid.
: Their mission was to find any sign of the Rebel Alliance.
: They were programmed to report if they spotted a shield generator appliance.
: Vader, in addition, wanted to find his long lost lad.
: In some twisted way he wanted to be a dad.
: One of the probes crashed on the planet Hoth, an icy place.
: Luke and Han were patrolling the base.
: Luke decided to check out an asteroid, which made a great sound.
: He told Han after that he’d return to the base under the ground.
: Luke went to see what was the matter.
: The wampa slashed Luke's face and his blood did splatter.
: The tauntaun the wampa was peeling.
: While Luke's feet were frozen and he was hanging from the ceiling.
: Luke saw his lightsaber just out of reach.
: He did something amazing that I did not teach.
: He used the Force to call it to his hand.
: He freed himself from the ice and on his head he did land.
: The wampa charged at Luke to cause his body harm.
: To stop him Luke had to cut off his arm.
: Out of the ice cave Luke Skywalker ran.
: To survive the bitter cold he had no plan.
: The snow made his visibility nil.
: He was overcome with an incredible chill.
: He started to lose hope and collapsed in the snow.
: He was in deep trouble and that’s all he did know.
: I appeared to Luke to tell him of the last Jedi master.
: So that he could battle evil with more than a blaster.
: Go to Dagobah and meet the Jedi named Yoda I said.
: As the cold was making his face was turn red.
: It was getting late and Luke had not returned.
: Han Solo was starting to get concerned.
: He decided to look for Luke, risking his own life.
: They became good friend throughout all the war and strife.
: Han’s tauntaun died just as he found his friend.
: If he had found him any later Luke would have met his end.
: To protect Luke from the deadly ice storm.
: He cut open his dead tauntaun for Luke to keep warm.
: Han then built an igloo shelter in the snow.
: To protect them from the cold winds that all night would blow.
: The Imperial Walkers were advancing toward the base.
: One was destroyed by Wedge the flying ace.
: Luke got shot down and crashed on the ground.
: Before he got out a grenade he found.
: He used a grappling cable to reach the Walkers belly.
: The explosive he threw in shook it like a bowl full of jelly.
: One of the Walkers was instructed by Vader.
: To destroy the Rebel's shield generator.
: When it was destroyed the good guys had to retreat.
: It looked like this time the Rebellion was beat.
: Luke traveled to Dagobah on my request.
: In training Jedi Yoda was best.
: When Luke's scopes malfunctioned and his X-Wing crashed.
: Into the Dagobah swamp the spacecraft splashed.
: Luke got out and swam to the shore.
: R2 tried also to swim in the moor.
: The sneaky swamp monster grabbed R2.
: The droid wasn't that tasty and out he flew.
: Luke rushed to R2 to see if he was still intact.
: After a monster had eaten him, he wasn't even cracked.
: Luke looked around and found a little green troll.
: He took Luke to his little rock hole.
: The small man cooked stew which had a great smell.
: "For the Jedi it is time to eat as well."
: Luke realized he had met Yoda the Jedi Master.
: Yoda felt training him would be a disaster
: "You are reckless!" Yoda told Luke.
: "So was I if you remember." I said in rebuke.
: "I'm not afraid!" Luke started to plea.
: And Yoda said, "You will be!"
: Luke trained with Yoda for several days.
: Learning about the mysterious Jedi ways.
: He said, "Luke stay away from the darkerside..."
: "...And if you start to go astray let the Force be your guide."
: From the swamp Luke tried to raise his X-Wing fighter.
: He said he could do it if only it were lighter.
: Yoda showed his power by lifting Luke's ship.
: The sight of which made the farmboy flip.
: Luke went into the darkside place.
: He cut off Vader’s head and saw his own face.
: Luke went into the carbon freeze facility.
: It's here Darth Vader would test Luke's ability.
: Vader fought his son with Darkside fury.
: Throwing objects and making Luke's vision blurry.
: Submission is what Vader did demand.
: To get it he cut off Luke's right hand.
: He said, "Obi-Wan Kenobi did not bother."
: "To tell you that I am your father!"
: Luke cried out, "That cannot be true!"
: He freaked out and off the ledge he flew.
: Luke was hanging from the bottom of Cloud City.
: As he was hanging he was overcome with self-pity.
: Darth Vader was his father and he had lost his hand.
: If he were to fall he would go splat on Bespin’s land.
: Out of instinct he reached out with the Force for assistance.
: His distress call was heard by his sister Leia from a distance.
: She demanded that Lando turn around the ship.
: Back to Cloud City the Millennium Falcon did zip.
: Luke spotted the ship hovering just under his feet.
: He jumped in the ship and just avoided the pursuing Tie’s heat.
: Luke was about to be thrown into the Sarlacc.
: For a thousand years on Luke it would snack.
: Luke gave the signal as he saluted R2.
: The droid shot out a lightsaber and to Luke it flew.
: Luke grabbed his saber and started hacking a Jabba's henchmen.
: He sliced off some limbs and sliced some again.
: Leia choked Jabba to death with the chain around her neck.
: Then Luke shot the lasers that Leia pointed at the deck.
: Luke and Leia swung to safety just before it went boom.
: The droids from under the sand they had to exhume.
: The Ewoks made the Rebels a part of the tribe.
: After the story of adventures C-3PO did describe.
: The Ewoks decided with the Rebels to fight.
: Against the Empire and all its might.
: The stormtroopers were big and the Ewoks were small.
: But the bigger they are the harder they fall.
: They had many contraptions that they used to wage war.
: With them they killed bad guys galore.
: The Ewoks found the strength within.
: To persevere and eventually win.
: Vader and Luke fought with lightsabers clashing.
: Luke would parry while Darth Vader was slashing.
: Luke could feel the conflict within his dad.
: The conflict between the goodside and bad.
: "If you will not turn than perhaps she will."
: Vader talking about Luke's sister made him lose his chill.
: Luke screamed out in rage and chopped off Vader's hand.
: Now he finally did understand.
: He said, "You've failed your highness" as Sidious looked on with glee.
: "I am a Jedi. Like my father before me."
: Darth Sidious said, "So be it, Jedi."
: Prepare thyself for you're going die.
: He shot out lightening using Darkside power.
: In the intense heat Luke could only cower.
: As Anakin watched his son writhe in pain.
: The Darth Vader within him finally was slain.
: He grabbed Darth Sidious and lifted him up in the air.
: The lightening zapping Anakin caused a bright glare.
: Anakin brought balance to the Force at last.
: When he ditched Darth Sidious down the Death Star shaft.