Posted by Tim Raven at dialup-67.30.252.82.dial1.atlanta1.level3.net on December 07, 2002 at 16:17:06:
In Reply to: Your personal opinions on a personal problem.... posted by Ember on December 07, 2002 at 01:29:56:
Okay, Ember,
"I've got this, uh, friend, with a problem..."
Seriously.
If your friend doesn't want to be in a committed relationship, her "other" should know. Plain and simple, honesty and openness are essential to any relationship.
A lot of people get into relationships for stability and then screw around for recreation. Generally speaking, this isn't healthy. The only way I can see it being healthy is if the "couple" agree that they are a couple, but that they can see other people. However, I'd suspect that what will end up happening is that one will go out and the other won't. I say this because too often it seems that people are so desperate for the love and affection they desire, they don't get to know each other well enough to express their motivations or objectives in the relationship. If we had better self worth, maybe we would really get to know people we date.
The bigger point is that we shouldn't be in relationships for need fulfillment. Real relationships are about friendship that binds people and helps them get through external challenges, not the drama we inherited from our youth.
If your friend wants to have a relationship that her partner believes is exclusive while she pursues a sexual relationship for her own pleasure, she's either simply selfish or she needs to see a shrink.