Posted by agentray at user-2ivemd5.dialup.mindspring.com on January 19, 2003 at 13:00:06:
The other night I (ray for those who don't know me) was at a local rock club in downtown baltimore. My band (Blue Grimmice) had finished up our 35min rock ass, balls to the wall, rock ass, kick you in the face while your down set when it happened.........
I got directly off stage and began to be horded by flocks and flocks of beautiful young women!! (wow, right!!) This gets better. So as I turn my mind off and let my penis do all the talking, the blood flow that had swiftly taken over my member made me forget that I had a girl friend who was an on-looker. So, while I'm aimlessly hitting on every young piece of ass that is coming in plan sight, she is taken notes from the sidelines. In short "My vision was clouded, young padawans". After the horded of hello kiddie poster childern had found other members of Blue Grimmice to use as a scathing post, I began to clear the cobb webs. Walk over to my girl with poise and daring ( just like a young indian brave about to kill his first bear or bunny...which ever comes first)and I say:
Ray: So, what did you think of our performance?
Ray's girl friend "Sarah"
Sarah: Which one?
Ray:(looking baffled)What do you mean?
Sarah: you idiot. I have eyes and ears you know.
Ray:Duh! That's why I'm asking you how our set went!
(I still have no idea what she "sarah" is talking about because the red blood cells that are traveling back to my brain after the "gruopie innciodent" are apperently all riding in a van with a bunch of other red blood cells that are taking hits from the bong and letting the van roll thur the blood stream with the cruse control left on 15 miles per hour)
Sarah: Ray, grow up you know what I'm talking about.
Ray: Oh yeah! I just caught on. How about..No. What the hell are you talking about?
Sarah: The flerting with those girls dressed in the hello kittie crap.
Ray: That! That wasn't flerting that was promoting our up and coming CD release. Yeah.
(sounded good in Ray's head)
Sarah: Oh yeah, well what kind of promoting techinic was it when the girl in the short skirt suck her tounge in your ear?
Ray: (Laughing) You saw that? wow! can't get much by you. (clearing his throght and using a much more serious tone while stummbling over his words) That, that was her trying tell me...that there on the left, lies Larry her loser boyfrined who loves to listen to loud, loud music.
(Sarah not finding the situation as funny as Ray did attemps to leave the club with her girl friend Janet)
Janet: Ray, your such a dick!
Ray: what???what did I do?
Janet: You can NOT let that sort of thing happen is what you can do!
Ray: But I didn't do anything!
Janet: exactally! You didn't do anything!
(I feel in my mind that inoder to sucessfuly sell a product you have to sell the whole product. So that other in the short , short skin got a thrill and she will buy my record when it comes out. Does Sarah she my marketing genious? NO!
Sarah: I'm leaving! we will talk about this later.
Ray: Oh, So your going to call the shots know? Ok. Fine buy me.
Game on. Beers on Me!
Sarah: ASS!
Ray: Yes, I have one right here.
The moral would be to not put guys thur a seris of tests all the time because it makes us defensive and renders the pottie mouth unstoppable. Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer. This is why guys are the way
we are.