Posted by Jack Spencer Jr at sa10-p23.dreamscape.com on February 07, 2003 at 12:51:58:
I'm on the 'puter last night, cruising lesbian porn because I am a dog. The wife is in the other room watch shit because she has horrible taste in television. She clicks over to HBO and the show G String Divas comes on. Something about strippers. I don't know. Suddenly she calls out "That looks like Kevin Smith getting a lap dance." I come in to check this out. "Which one's the guy?" I ask. We had to wait a few minutes but the guy with a leather jacket, a beard, and a piercing in his lower lip comes on. "That's him," she says. I glare at her incredulously. "That does not look like Kevin Smith," I say. "Well, he looked more like Kevin Smith with his glasses on. Wait. Look. There. See? Doesn't he look like Kevin Smith with his glasses on?" I shake my head and go, "He's a chubby man with a beard wearing glasses. If that's all it takes, *I* look like Kevin Smith. All I need is a pair of glasses. Here. Check it out." I put on glasses and her eyes get really big and she asks for my autograph and told me how much Chasing Amy meant to her. I blew her off and went back to cruising lesbian porn, but somehow my heart just wasn't into it.