Posted by Smalls at syr-24-24-14-133.twcny.rr.com on February 07, 2003 at 14:08:12:
In Reply to: You're always so cynical. Who screwed you up? * posted by Sonya on February 07, 2003 at 13:48:59:
Lots of people like stringing along someone on the side... not as someone they're cheating with but as a "close friend" to give them attention and pedistalize them when their significant other isn't around... especially at that age. If you're 17, the last thing you should be doing is buying into some overblown romantic vision of a "soulmate" and chasing someone else's girlfriend-or-boyfriend who likes your flattery but would never date you in a million years. You've got a lifetime to figure out who you are and then slowly fall in love with someone else who's started to figure themselves out to... 17 is a time to have as much fun as you can without hurting yourself or others.
I'm not saying that this girl is hurting him on purpose or anything... she's probably just as confused about everything as he is... but at the same time, it's pretty clear that she doesn't dig him that way.
The media has sort of put this idea into kids... especially young dorky boys but kids in general... that love works something like minor league baseball... you start at single-A as friend, you jump up to double-A after some experience... and eventually you're in Triple-A "the really close platonic friend" and you're just waiting there to get promoted to the bigs.
Maybe it can work like that when you're adults that have gotten a lot of your shit worked out... but I honestly think that when you're a kid, you're both (all) too screwed up for it to work out like that. If you've had a long-friendship there's too much baggage, too much bullshit, too much genuine "I love you like a brother/sister" because you know what? By trying to "move up the ladder" you totally WERE setting yourself for a sibling-like friendship whether you wanted to or not. I can certainly tell you that I didn't sift out my romantic life until I realized that you just can't start dating someone after being close friends for a long time, there's just too many preconceiveds and weirdnesses...
And, not to be cynical, but it needs to be repeated... not in a mean way but just to be true... you haven't had the love of your life at 17. You just can't have because you're not even really you yet. Fuck "Sweet Home Alabama" and fuck the assholes at Delta for putting it on my plane out west AND my plane back.
Mike