Posted by Easterbunny at d1-3-0-0-22.a02.ptldor01.us.ce.verio.net on February 07, 2003 at 16:00:21:
In Reply to: Maybe I'm just an old jerk... posted by happylizard on February 07, 2003 at 14:01:04:
I was trying to not lie to her anymore. But it's ok now because i didn't mess anything
up between us. Also i'm not going to give into that notion that smalls was talking
about by dwelling on it and thinking she was the only girl for me. I'll find some one
else, i may be sad now but i'll move on. but i don't feel like i could have if i didn't say
anything. And i don't feel like i was being a good friend by not letting her know how
i feel.
: ...but your story is not by any means unique here on the board. The idea that
"honesty is the best policy" is not valid, all the time, in my opinion. Sometimes,
honesty can be very hurtful. Just because you "love" someone does not give you
the right to say so, unless of course you just say so. You should have acted on your
feelings when you had a chance, and if this young lady was never "available" to
you, then you should have put those thoughts out of your head. What I am saying is,
if I understand you, this young lady does not want to be "emotionally screwed up" or
something to that effect. Your honest confession, I'm sure, has not made her life any
easier. There is also another guy in the equation who you have "messd with". OK,
too many quotation marks. I hope you get my point, regardless. When you are
friends with someone you have to behave like a friend. Not like someone "needy"
or "wanting". This smacks more of selfishness and confusion, as opposed to
friendship. Sometimes you have to suck it up and suffer in silence. Find a nice
single woman and lay all your love on her. Someone who will benefit and not be
confused/hurt by your "honesty". Long story short, I DO feel for you, but I had to
learn these lessons, myself, when I was younger, the hard way. I hope everything
works out for you and everyone else involved. Try to be happy. Sorry for the long,
winding post.
: : Maul IMd me last night and reminded me that I didn't share with all of you lovely
: : people here what happened when I told the love of my life that she was the love
of
: : my life. For those of you who didn't see it this is what I told her
: : "I don't know if you know this but for a long time I've had somewhat of
: : crush on you. And I know you have a boyfriend, and I'm not expecting
: : anything out of telling you this but I just had to let you know that I like
: : you, a lot. I love having you as a friend and I'm sorry if saying this has
: : fucked anything up but I had to tell you because keeping this in wasn't
: : good for anyone. I really want, and need, to keep you as a friend, you're
: : such a great person. But I wasn't being a good friend by keeping this
: : inside. Whatever you want to do with this information is your decision. And
: : I want you to know that I'm always there for you. I just needed to tell you
: : this because it's time for me to try and move on if what I want to happen
: : isn't going to happen. But most importantly I need you to know that I must
: : keep you as a friend. And I know that you may not feel the same way I feel
: : about you, and if you're upfront and honest with me, trust me there is no
: : way you can hurt my feelings. But what's most important is our friendship."
: :
: : Well I was scared as shit in the toilet when I did it but it worked out ok... I guess.
She
: : said she's trying to work things out with her boyfriend (they were going through a
: : rocky time when I told her this. She said that she didn't want to get "emotionally
: : fucked up". She still wants to stay friends, and I’m fine with that because she's a
: : really good friend, but I was really crushed for a few days after that. I really felt
like
: : she was the one, and even though I'm only 17, I felt I had met my soul mate.
: : Obviously she doesn't feel the same. Oh well it's time to move on, it wasn't meant
to
: : be. But I'm done with what I have to say. This was just to keep you guys updated
on
: : my love life (I'm sure you guys really care). Well on to my next love.
:
: :
......................................................................................................................................................
: : ...........