Q&A with SexyJ from yesterday(2/5).and my answers.

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: : 1. when was your last nightmare? : Same one many times during the past 10+ years. : : 2. what was it about? : (To clarify before starting, nobody on this board was involved.) : This is a tough one, but haunting. True story. I was 16 and had an 18-year-old ladyfriend asking me to have a child with her. On one hand, I was honored by the fact she would think of me as a capable father, on the other, I was 16. Now, of course, the "capable father" bit could be played off to draw me into a relationship, but I chose to take the higher road of thinking. The chances of making a living, finishing High School, and raising a child were difficult at best. At the same time, she had collegiate aspirations, so a pregnancy could derail that too. The possibilities sacrificed, at such a crucial time in both of our lives, just seemed too great to ignore. The mature, responsible approach was patience. Now how to break the news without breaking her heart. : There was a long silence during this conversation, and she started to wonder what I was going to say next. The most difficult thing to do is to say no to a good friend who seeks a long-term relationship. Of course I mentioned giving it some thought, and started to explain my thinking as if she would understand. Of course, once she realized all indications of my answer pointed towards "no" (kid), she was devastated. : Inside of a week later, she had hooked up with another man(mid-20's). Inside of a month, she was pregnant with his child. Being pregnant caused her to miss college, eventually dropping out altogether. The two of them were married, but soon separated once the child was born. The guy wasn't apparently ready handle the responsibility. To her credit, she continued to raise the child while working full time. : Basically her life reflected the exact situation I was hoping we could avoid. Some will say I should not be concerned because it is a choice that was out of my hands. In other words, she chose another man, had a child, and now lives with those decisions. Then again, by my saying "no", caused all the other dominos to fall in a particular order. : We bumped into one another two years later, and hung out a couple times. The reason for the time lapse was due to her moving elsewhere after getting married. The other guy was still nowhere to be found. The minute I started to talk about the past and present situation, in both our lives, she felt an urgent need to leave. Haven't seen nor heard much since. : I know for a fact the child wasn't mine because the relationship never went that far. Yet still trying to be a voice of reason, at a crucial time in our lives, might've been for the worse and not better. At least that's what I think about from time to time. How so few words can change a person's destiny. : : 3. last concert you saw? : Incubus : : 4. last 'famous' person you met? : Nicole Kidman : : 5. what is something that you have done (or are doing) with your life that you never imagined youd be doing, either good or bad? : Paying bills. : : 6. has a former crush ever admitted they liked you AFTER you are in a serious relationship and are happy? : Yes. : : 7. why do they do that? : Gonna time some time with this answer. Seriously, a lot has to do with insecurities and shyness. Not in a bad way, which some imply by asking this question. The old excuse of "well he/she was never really interested because they couldn't tell me before." : Some are just not accustomed to expressing their feelings in overt ways. It's not a knock against them, just takes more of an effort on your behalf to recognize this and put them in a comfortable situation. What people discover when they find additional time here and there to take a closer look....Hmmmmmm.... : Am I dismissing those that would express interest simply to "tease"? No. There are those who, when given ample opportunity, can go on for days when it comes to their feelings. Says something about you, by not being shallow, and for them in finding out who you are. : : 8. what was the last thing that you have done that disappointed your parents? : Not revealing secrets kept between myself and my sister, who was in trouble at the time. : : 9. how long ago was that? : 10+ years. : : 10. henry rollins....spoken word or singing? : Singing. Spoken word is fine, but anyone can. : : 11. henry rollins for president? : No. : : 12. what are your thoughts on the US going to war? : If this is to imply Iraq would be a war, think again. Where is Iraq going to hide? Major difference in terrain between this and Vietnam. Think of what happened in Afghanistan. Expect much the same. : Our toughest challenge is how to learn to live in peacetime. Everyone is always concerned about finding an "enemy" in this world. Perhaps to the extent of making one out to be larger than it actually is. I will always be a firm believer in being a world citizen and in global ideals. Isolationism generates too much resentment and shows a lack of class to not assist others. Part of our problem is how to present ourselves without being overbearing when it comes to certain situations. Rather than worrying about losing face, the key players and goals in any situation should come first. Even if the U.S. winds up as a spectator. : : 13. who has the bigger advantage? : The "who" of this question resides on many levels. NATO? EU? G-7? UN? The good thing is we have arrived at this point without total devastation. : : 14. what are you doing for valentines day? : It's a Friday, so work. After work, maybe a classy bar or restaurant scene. Enjoy the evening in style. See what's up as far as plays or operas. Worst case, a low-key music club (blues, jazz). : : 15. does love exist? how about soul mates? : True love? Yes. Soulmates? Yes. Love and the desire to love can be expressed on many levels. Regardless of gender, just because one might be too spoiled or jaded to recognize doesn't mean someone isn't trying. First question to ask ourselves is if we have offered a fair opportunity to introduce love into our lives. : What about being let down? What about it? Would experiences like that, causing you to go to the other end of the spectrum, make things better in the long run? Somehow letting a bad experience dictate your love life? Letting one person totally shift your focus? Maybe there is a middle ground that could put a smile on your face. : : Don't want to appear "easy"? The most obvious question, most refuse to admit to it. So games ensue to "win the day." All this energy to prove something that could've taken place much sooner. Almost looks foolish. : : Enjoy the day, : BChrist

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