Posted by the guy who is here at user-285.bbd08wfd.dsl.pol.co.uk on February 27, 2003 at 08:50:22:
This is what Kevin Smith is writing now and plans on shooting it after Fletch Lives. It reads like a parody of bad cliched movies. I'll see it... From comingsoon.com:
Jessy the talking dog has 6 hours to save his master, Alan the gay farmer, from the evil clutches of Stinkoman. Along the way he meets a gang of cats who are training to become olympic swimmers. They decide to join Jessy in the hopes that it'll somehow help them on their own quest to see more cats in the olympic games. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it does somehow. Jessy learns that talking isn't for dogs and she stops speaking. As for the cats, they all die in their own olympic size swimming pool. Cats can't swim ya know. Now Alan the gay farmer goes into a evil gay rage because Jessy doesn't talk and he was going to go on the talk show scene with that dog. He beats up Stinkoman, who has leant the true meaning of stinking and being evil and decides kidnapping gay farmers isn't the right way to go about being evil, but its too late for that now because Alan is a beating him to death with his own Stinkostick (tm) Just then, a voice is heard “leave that poor evil genius - I mean that poor evil of average inteligence stinking stinkoman alone“ ITS JESSY!!! And she leant the true meaning of Talking and that indieviduality is the only thing a person (or dog)has (she leant that from Roger the man with a crows head for a head) She teaches Alan the true meaning of being a gay farmer, (growing genictily modified pink vegtables) And Jessy, Alan and Stinkoman all live happily ever after on Alans gay farm.