Posted by TrentReno at 65.204.12.66 on February 26, 2003 at 12:28:45:
Hey Harry
Long time reader, first time poster. First, let me give you my review of Daredevil. Naturally I loved it, but I didn't get a few things. Why was he wearing a jacket instead of his red jump suit? And I don't remember Kingpin being a black man. I think Dolph Lundren's Punisher movie was more accurate. And Ben Affleck's acting was okay. There was this part where he was dancing with Jennifer Garner, and she was talking to him, and he wouldn't even look at her! I mean, she was RIGHT THERE!!! Look at her, Ben! She's HOT!!!
Anyway, let me tell you how I got this Jersey Girl scoop. I was born in Queens in 1987, and my father beat the hell out of me after catching me masturbate. But the funny thing is, I caught him doing it a week later! I guess my situation was different since I was wearing my sister's bra while I was doing it. Flash forward to last week. I'm shopping at Circuit City, and who do I see? The hair...the beard...it was Kevin Smith! Except, I don't remember Kevin Smith wearing a "Hell's Angels" jacket. But anyway, I snooped on him at first. He was buying a Stealing Harvard DVD. Stealing Harvard...Jason Lee...it was Kevin Smith! I was certain! So I went up to him and I said "you're Kevin Smith!" and then he called me gay. I knew for sure it was Smith because he always cracks gay jokes. I said, "tell me something about the jersey girl," and he said "I fucked that bitch cross-eyed." And then he grabbed his crotch and left. Ah man, I can tell this is going to be a funny movie! This scoop is better than the time George Lucas sat me down and told me everything there is to know about Episode 3!
Call me
Ass Nuggets.