Posted by jungleloveoeoeo at dial027.acns.fsu.edu on March 17, 2003 at 08:31:32:
In Reply to: Things to ponder...... posted by Elorah Dannan on March 17, 2003 at 07:57:49:
: 1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
: 2. Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible?
old Macdonald's wife....Edith Macdonald
: 3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
you can't have white without having black.....just a pussy technicality
: 4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Well, in some countries....you are only allowed to open the freezer with the kitchen light on....and the refridgerator companies did not want to discriminate
: 5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
it is a self esteem builder....Poor Jimmy
: 6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Oh, no, there is a pulse discrepancy
: 7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
they never said he was a carpenter...he doesnt know wood....but here is something else to ponder...They were on a 3 hour tour, so why did everyone bring a wardrobe except Gilligan and The Skipper.....too
: 8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
B/c that puts the crotch in an uncomfortable situation...no one who seriously has to pee, wants someone staring at their crotch
: 9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
to give you some alone time...before something like that, one needs to get psyched up!
: 10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
evolution....goofy was once on all fours as well, but he grew as dog, pluto just never got there, mentally and emotionally
: 11. What do you call male ballerinas?
gay dancers dont mind being called ballerinas....only joking, dont take offense....what am I saying this site, offend...no
: 12. Why ARE Trix only for kids?
cause the rabbit tries to steal the ceral and that makes him a horrible role model, so the executives at the ceral co. bipassed the lawsuits and said "NO, silly rabbit...Trix are for kids" It punishes the ill-behaved
: 13. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
the thrill of the hunt
: 13a. I Super Geniuses are so smart, why does the obvious always seem to escape them?
well it is a give and take....to be a genius, you must loose all common sense to make room for all that other shit
: 14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Well that would make them an integral part of the male reproductive anatomy
: 15. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
you've discovered the governments secret...baby oil contains juice from a baby....You should run, b/c once the pentagon finds out.....
: 16. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
well, put so simply...yea
: 17. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Ah, Yes....Mickey, and he is the worlds most successful mouse
: 18. Why do the Alphabet song, and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
lack of originallity....it used to be a big problem in the states
: 19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
no, they dont know the difference
: 20. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
it is the need to get dirty...we want the paint on our hands...makes feel alive
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