Posted by Will Turner, Karaoke King at 126.96.36.199 on March 17, 2003 at 15:11:59:
In Reply to: The shit that was pimped earlier, part two posted by cowgoesmoo on March 17, 2003 at 15:07:32:
The fact is that rejection and criticism come with the territory. The sooner the guy realises that, the better. In order to become ready for it, you have to be rejected, a test of faith if you will. Criticism is fine when it's constructive.
Screenplays are a lot harder than they look, and the first thing I've learned is that dialogue is sparse if it's there at all. You have to learn to hold back description, keep as much space (white stuff) on the page as possible and only four lines or so of black stuff (dialogue and description). I hope this helps, because I've had to learn myself. Self indulgence is not the way foward.
: I'm not in the habit of being completely mean, but I just thought I'd let you guys on the board in on something.
: If you haven't read it, I posted a response a while ago about a guy Ming kicked out for pimping a screenplay he wrote, and he obviously didn't take to my criticism very well because I received this e-mail shortly afterwards.
: "What exactly did you read? How many pages?
: And in detail. What was so horrible about that script?
: Just curious."
: I'm posting this because I thought that after I offered my criticisms, anyone else on the board who wasted their time reading some of the godawful excuse for a script that this guy was promoting could try and give this guy some advice.
: Firstly, I'm not a professional. I have a few projects of my own that I am working on, mainly for my own pleasure but believing that they are good enough to maybe sell in the future. The script that I have done the most on, which also happened to be the first I attempted to write, I started writing last year. I am 17 now, and while I mean to show the utmost respect to Sean, who posted a reply earlier and said that the majority of first screenplays stink, I would have to disagree when it comes to my script. I think that I have a cohesive narrative with well-developed characters and some great humour. Obviously I am biased, but I think it is pretty good.
: However, unlike this guy on the board who posted his link and continued to post stupid replies to every post for over an hour, I don't think that it is good enough to show people, let alone post a link to it saying "READ THIS FUCKING SCREENPLAY NOW!" I won't pick your script apart, because I'm not a critic. I won't criticise someone else's work. All I can do for you is give you a quote that unfortunately I can't remember what it is from, let alone put it on here word for word. The quote goes something like this.
: "You know you have talent as a writer when you can say to yourself that your work is shit."
: Son, your work is shit. You need to read it over yourself and realise that, just as I have realised with constant re-readings of my script. Watch some proper movies so you have some idea of what good dialogue is - fuck man, you have Kevin Smith in your movie so obviously you are a fan, so be influenced by the man! Here is a guy who writes some of the best dialogue for the silver screen, you have written him into your screenplay, and you take no influence from him whatsoever when it comes to the most important thing in the kind of movie you are trying to write: character interaction.
: Sorry to anyone who knows this quote exactly and if I've completely fucked up the words of a great man, please correct me! Also, sorry to the guy who wrote this script, and I apologise to him if I've completely ripped him a new a-hole. And sorry to anyone like myself who read that piece of shit.
: The Smiffmeister, signing out.
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