Posted by razordu30 at ool-44c11c93.dyn.optonline.net on March 20, 2003 at 22:54:27:
This is a little long – please bear with me.
One time in high school I came down with mono, pneumonia, strep throat, tonsillitis, severe congestion, and 104 degree fever all at the same time. I had to be hospitalized because the swelling of my throat was so bad that the doctors thought they might have had to perform a tracheotomy.
There was one person who stayed by my bedside the entire time I was there; she didn’t sleep, she didn’t complain, she didn’t leave the room for more than a couple minutes. My mom’s sole concern for four days was making sure I felt comfy.
My mom has been through a lot; she grew up in an area of a country where dead, decaying bodies were hardly uncommon, where her brother was hacked with a machete, and where her sister was kidnapped and executed because her husband wanted to “change wives”. Through all of this, my mother has kept her spirits strong and her head high; she has more resilience and patience than anyone I know.
Today was the first time I saw fear on her face. My brother and I picked her up from the hospital after what we thought would be an uneventful checkup. We had planned to surprise her by taking her to her favorite diner.
Instead, her eyes and face were red, burned by what seemed like a thousand tears. We stared at her, not knowing what to think; she said, “I want to go home.” As she said it, her voice cracked. More tears streamed down her face (as well as our own). Inner strength, life experience, and decades of patience could never prepare her for breast cancer.
We didn’t go to the diner.
Minutes after we were home, my mom tried to bounce back the only way she knew how – by explaining to her sons that there is always hope. She says if we’re strong, everything will be okay; we just have to pray.
I’m a skeptical person. I’m skeptical of religion, and I’m skeptical of atheism. I don’t know if there’s an afterlife, and I don’t know if there’s a benevolent, omnipotent being making sure we’re all okay.
All I know is that my mother is the last person who should suffer because of my lack of faith.
I tell you this because to me, this forum is a community. We have our differences, and we can't help but flame each other sometimes, but we're still a community of like-minded individuals.
All I ask is this: if you are a spiritual person, pray for my mom. If you're not, just wish her the best.
Thanks for everything.
-Ramon