Posted by nude pinky playing card at 24-205-40-68.gln-eres.charterpipeline.net on March 21, 2003 at 01:32:26:
damn, im almost considering seeing it just to see cuba gooding jr fall 10 steps from grace when he ejaculates all over a gay mans face.
SEX/NUDITY
Most every woman shows abundant amounts of cleavage throughout the film.
For those concerned about seeing homosexual related activity, there are many shots of gay men holding hands, hugging, kissing, seen in S&M type garb (one with a leash and collar around another's masked head/neck), repeatedly coming on to and or lasciviously leering at Jerry and Nick, etc.
Jerry laments over losing Felicia by telling his dog that he knows he doesn't care since "you can lick your own balls."
Nick tells Jerry that they're going out tonight, to saddle up the "baloney pony" and talks about storming the "fox holes" and "penetrating" the enemy.
Nick spots a woman awaiting a massage with just a towel across her butt (as she lies face down). She thinks he's the masseur and she keeps telling him to "give it to me harder" and he then proceeds to spank her covered butt.
An older man informs Nick about meeting a young and buxom woman on a cruise ship. That woman states the other man is "a wonderful lover" and then heads off for the bathroom stating she's going to "trim the landing strip." The man then says that they had sex the very first night and makes a finger gesture for intercourse (poking one finger through others making a hole). That woman then comes back and states that she wants to skip dinner since he got her in the mood for takeout in bed (she then kisses him and grabs his clothed butt).
Nick and a miscellaneous man exchange angry crude remarks, with the man saying "F*ck your mother" and Nick saying, "No one would want to f*ck my mother because she's too ugly."
Nick tells Jerry that they're not going on the cruise for the discourse but rather the intercourse. Jerry then complains that all Nick thinks about is "sex, sex, sex" but then says that they'll take the cruise.
A travel agent indicates that one of his employees has various problems, and makes a gesture of pelvic thrusting for one of them.
Nick indicates there will be a lot of "ass" on their cruise.
We see many gay men in small swimsuits who lasciviously stare at Nick and Jerry when they're on the ship (with the camera focusing on Jerry's clothed butt as he walks away). We then see some men's bare butt cheeks in the chaps or seat-less pants they're wearing.
Jerry notes that there's only one bed in their room and Nick says that's because one of them will always be sleeping out. They then note that there's a mirror on the ceiling and Nick says that way "the babes can watch me get my freak on."
Jerry and Nick meet Lloyd (still unaware they're on a gay cruise) and Lloyd mentions that there will be lots of sex. Nick replies, "Hear that Jerry? All the sex a man could want." Lloyd then says that they must visit the "Hole-In-One" room. Jerry thinks it's a driving range and Lloyd says that some of the members have been known to swing "very large clubs." The two then panic when they realize they're on a gay cruise and ask a passerby if they know where they can get off (the ship) quick. The man then suggests the "Hole-In-One" room.
Jerry and Nick briefly tussle in a fight on their bed (which is played as a gay joke when a gay man spots them doing that).
A mock game show asks, "What's the most unusual place you've made love." A gay man replies, "Inside a woman."
Jerry has a beer, appears drunk, and asks, "Who do have to screw to get a drink around here?"
Jerry (who's wet from falling into a swimming pool) lands on top of Nick on the bed. Nick states that Jerry's getting him all wet which Gabrielle mistakes for sexual banter between the two men.
After one of the guys asks how gay a brunch buffet can be, we see ice sculptures shaped like huge penises (with water coming out of the tip of one). Lloyd then joins them and suggestively asks Nick if he'd care for a bite of his sausage (while holding a small sausage that he suggestively licks).
We see various buxom women in skimpy bathing suits on a raft and several of the women are bare-breasted. A crewmember then states, "All hands on d*ck." Later, Nick spots all of these women sunbathing in a row (in skimpy bikinis) and states for someone to pinch him since he must be dreaming (a gay man pinches him on the butt). Nick then meets Inga (who gets out of the pool in slow motion) who states it's nice that they're on a boat of gay men so that the women can work on their tan lines without being ogled (she then lowers her top to reveal a great deal of her bare breasts). Nick then acts like he's gay to hang around with them. Moments later, we see a shot of just him where he's making what sound like sexual sounds and looks like an orgasmic experience and we then see a great deal of white, gooey liquid squirt onto one of the model's bare backs (we then see that it's suntan lotion). He spreads it and we see various models in small, thong bottoms (that show most of their bare butts). The coach then accuses him of being straight and points out the visible erection in his pants. Later, Nick refers to his penis as "Little Nicky."
Nick spots Inga suggestively but supposedly innocently licking an ice cream cone and she comments on herself being "oral." She then states that it's too bad he's gay and he sees his chance to move on her. He thus asks about her country's stance on premarital sex and he starts to ask another question about his sexual orientation, but she interrupts him by asking, "If you're asking if I'd sleep with you if you were straight, the answer is yah." He then says he is straight, she's excited and they agree to meet in her cabin in 5 minutes. Moments later, he asks a clerk if there are any condoms on the ship and various gay men display their various packaged condoms. We then see Inga awaiting Nick while lying suggestively on her bed in her small lingerie. Her coach, however, moves her to another room and takes her place (after patting and grabbing her butt in her small panties while commenting on it being disgustingly fat). A few moments later, Nick then enters the room and immediately goes under the covers and up what he thinks is Inga's body. Sonja is asleep but reacts pleasurably to the unseen oral sex and then awakens, commenting on "knocking at my drawers." She then screams and locks her thighs around his head (so that his head is at her crotch) and we see a shot of part of her butt as they roll around like that. He then stands with her crotch still in his face and her acting orgasmic. He then falls to the floor where she does pelvic thrusting on top of him until he blows her off him and onto the bed with a fire extinguisher (leaving some "smoke"). The models then come in and one says that the coach's "p*ssy just blew up."
Meanwhile, Gabrielle states that she imagines men coming on to Jerry all of the time due to him having a "hot ass." She later complains about straight men wanting to "get into my pants" and then adds, "Maybe I can even find a gay guy and he can do me the favor" (have sex with her, which she later defines as "screw my brains out"). While saying that, she suggestively lifts up her leg. Jerry then acts as if he's gay so that he can hopefully have sex with her.
Felicia walks out onto a balcony in an open robe that shows her in some lingerie (for her new boyfriend to see).
Jerry asks Nick at the buffet, "Can you hand me one of those cheese-flavored penises." Nick is disgusted by the mistaken oral sex above and says, "Let's just say I had some bad shellfish and leave it at that." Jerry then tries to get Nick to act like they're homosexual lovers in front of Gabriella and then states that they're into S&M.
We see a shot of the various suntan models jogging and doing stretches in sports bras and small bikini bottoms.
A comment is made about guys just wanting to have sex with Gabriella.
As Lloyd dances behind Nick, Nick says that he hopes it's his belt buckle he feels back there.
We see phallic set decorations at some sort of gay revue.
Sonja finds Nick and calls him "Mr. Tongue" (from above) and that says if they ever hook up, she wants to show that she can reciprocate. Accordingly, she then proceeds to perform simulated oral sex on the end of a baseball bat (we see her moving it in and out of her mouth).
Jerry and Gabrielle do some sexual-like moves while dancing together. Later, she says she has to get out of her clothes (and he says he couldn't agree more). We then see her in a small bra and panties (we see part of her bare butt) and she then removes her top (we see her from behind her) and asks him to spend the night for cuddling. We later see her in those same panties and a tight tank-top. She then tells him to get ready to have an orgasm, but is referring to some sort of chocolate. She then says, "Do me" (meaning for him to put a piece in her mouth). He does and she makes pleasurable sounds. She then asks him, "How do you do it?" He wonders what she's talking about and she then says sex and adds, "A blowjob." She then wonders where he starts (at the tip of the penis, do you stroke it when you use your mouth, do you something the balls, etc.) and figures he must know the perfect way. She then wants him to show her and hands him a banana. He's uncomfortable with that and never puts it in his mouth. He then tells her to show him her technique and he'll critique it. She then peels the banana and says that she licks the tip with her tongue (we see her doing this to the banana) and then swirls her tongue all the way around it (this is getting him worked up). She then speaks in Spanish as she gets worked up and he's then gone. We then see him standing at a porthole with his pants down (we see his bare butt), the ship's horn blows and we then see ejaculate land on another man's face (he's with Lloyd). That man then tells Lloyd to at least kiss him first.
It's implied that Nick had sex with a gay poker friend (as both wake up in bed together), but we later learn that nothing happened between them (although it makes Nick think he's gay). Nick then runs in horror down the hallway and says he has a horrible taste in his mouth (with Jerry asking if he ate something weird and Nick saying he did).
Nick admits that he hasn't "scored" with a woman since high school.
We see two groups of women in very skimpy bathing suits.
At various times when Inga talks to Nick, we see her covered breast in the corner foreground of the shot.
Jerry and Gabrielle briefly kiss and then both agree to have sex (with her telling him she'll be his guide to heterosexual sex). He then suddenly grabs and lifts her up and we see a torso shot of the two of them with implied movement and exaggerated sexual sounds. We then see all sorts of fruit falling from a tree as their sexual actions shake the tree and we then see the two of them buried (still standing and sweaty) in a pile of fruit. He then says that's enough foreplay.
We see a man's bare butt cheeks while he's wearing chaps or seat-less pants.
Felicia states that years ago, she and her roommate were drinking and things got hot between them.
We see various men, including Jerry, in skimpy, drag outfits during a musical number. We see various glimpses of their partially bare butts and then see Jerry from behind in a thong bottom (as well as him doing some pelvic thrusting). When Felicia sees him, she yells out, "C*cks*cker!" which makes all of the men turn around and look at her (she tells them she was talking to Jerry). She then asks him if he was thinking about cabana boys when they were making love.
Nick plants a kiss on Jerry to make them appear gay.
We see Gabrielle teaching dance lessons on a lesbian cruise.
Lloyd tells Jerry that he's more than a little excited himself while strapped behind Jerry as they parachute from a plane.
We see another woman in small bikini with lots of ample cleavage.