I don't feel old anymore! What a great rant! *nt*

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: : When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with : : >their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when : : >they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles : : >to school every morning uphill both ways through : : >year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings : : >on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they : : >maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time : : >after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked : : >for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from : : >starving to death! : : > : : >And I remember promising myself that when I grew up : : >there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of : : >crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how : : >easy they've got it! : : > : : >But.... : : > : : >Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, : : >I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. : : >You've got it so fuckin' easy! : : > : : >I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in freakin : : >Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know : : >how good you've got it! : : > : : >I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The : : >Internet--we wanted to know something, we had to go : : >to the damn library and look it up ourselves! : : > : : >And there was no email! We had to actually write : : >somebody a letter--with a pen!--and then you had : : >to walk all the way across the street and put it in : : >the fuckin' mailbox and it would take like a week to : : >get there! : : > : : >And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to : : >steal music, you had to go to the damn record : : >store and shoplift it yourself! : : > : : >Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the : : >radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and : : >fuck it all up! : : > : : >You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just : : >download porn! You had to bribe some homeless : : >dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was : : >either that or jackoff to the lingerie section of the JC : : >Penney catalog! Those were your options! : : > : : >We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you : : >were on the phone and somebody else called they : : >got a busy signal! : : > : : >And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! : : >When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was : : >it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, : : >your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to : : >pick it up and take your chances, mister! : : > : : >And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames : : >with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! : : >With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the : : >graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! We had : : >to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels : : >or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could : : >never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster : : >until you died! Just like LIFE! : : > : : >When you went to the movie theater there no such thing : : >as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! : : >A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed! : : > : : >And sure, we had cable television, but back then that : : >was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen : : >menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide : : >to find out what was on! : : > : : >And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get : : >cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear what the : : >fuck I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled : : >little bastards! : : > : : >That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have : : >got it too easy. You're spoiled, I swear to God! You guys : : >wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!

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