Posted by Jacob Heineken at wopr-p-144-134-27-152.prem.tmns.net.au on April 10, 2003 at 14:37:11:
I can't believe it, but it's true so I have to.
Today is Steven Seagal's birthday!!! He turns 52. Just think, it was on this day in 1951 that God came down and blessed Mrs Seagal to give birth to the greatest actor who ever lived, not to mention the biggest activist for world peace and ass kicking.
My little brother and I had the day off school. Mom took us to Pizza Hut, and we made the titles of all of Steven Seagal's movies out of crusts. It was great until the waitress told us to clean it all off the floor. She didn't seem to like Steven Seagal all that much, but that's okay. I'm sure Dawson would have pretended to kick her ass if he wasn't a retard.
I've updated my site with a new lesson on kicking ass, and I was going to put another one on there in honor of Steven Seagal's birthday except Geocities are being dumbasses and I can't connect back on there.
Dumbasses.