Re: Questions I just have to have answered

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Posted by Schroedingers Cat at pool-162-83-214-29.ny5030.east.verizon.net on May 27, 2003 at 18:57:57:

In Reply to: Questions I just have to have answered posted by Eyesonly on May 27, 2003 at 17:01:45:

: :Some of these are old cherries - but some are quite amusing:

: Unanswered questions:

: 1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

-- cause he needs to start the video camera

: 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

-- cause they're not very coodinated.

: 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

-- you wiggle your ass when you brush your teeth ?

: 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is
: stand up and say, 'My name is John, and I am an alcoholic'?

--cause they're drunk

: 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
: centuries' have a 'use by' date?

-- cause Mountain Lion urine expires after 6 months

: 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast?

-- cause people are fucking stupid

: 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

-- yes, but in America it is now called 'Freedom Kissing'

: 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
: squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

-- same guy who thought it was a good idea to stick his dick in a sheep

: 13. What do people in China call their good plates?

-- Dixie

: 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
: coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

-- He's a Scientist, not a Carpenter

: 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

-- you should see what I do when I have to take a crap

: 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

-- why are you talking about 'erect' dogs ? You sick pervert !

: 17. What do you call male ballerinas?

-- Hom...nah, that's too easy

: 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
: couldn't he just buy dinner?

-- cause nothing beats the taste of Roadrunner

: 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

-- longer

: 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
: vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

-- Mineral Oil and Fragrance

: 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

-- if a man is in the forest alone and no woman is there, he is probably masturbating

: 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
: stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

-- see the answer to question # 10

: 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

-- you blow your dog ?

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: : :Some of these are old cherries - but some are quite amusing: : : Unanswered questions: : : 1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? : -- cause he needs to start the video camera : : : 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? : -- cause they're not very coodinated. : : : 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom? : -- you wiggle your ass when you brush your teeth ? : : : 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is : : stand up and say, 'My name is John, and I am an alcoholic'? : --cause they're drunk : : : 9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for : : centuries' have a 'use by' date? : -- cause Mountain Lion urine expires after 6 months : : : 10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast? : -- cause people are fucking stupid : : : 11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? : -- yes, but in America it is now called 'Freedom Kissing' : : : 12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll : : squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? : -- same guy who thought it was a good idea to stick his dick in a sheep : : : 13. What do people in China call their good plates? : -- Dixie : : : 14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a : : coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? : -- He's a Scientist, not a Carpenter : : : 15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? : -- you should see what I do when I have to take a crap : : : 16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! : -- why are you talking about 'erect' dogs ? You sick pervert ! : : : 17. What do you call male ballerinas? : -- Hom...nah, that's too easy : : : 19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why : : couldn't he just buy dinner? : -- cause nothing beats the taste of Roadrunner : : : 21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? : -- longer : : : 22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from : : vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? : -- Mineral Oil and Fragrance : : : 23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong? : -- if a man is in the forest alone and no woman is there, he is probably masturbating : : : 24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion : : stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? : -- see the answer to question # 10 : : : 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? : -- you blow your dog ?

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