Posted by Fourhundredandsixteenferrets at evrtwa1-ar14-4-35-188-068.evrtwa1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net on May 23, 2003 at 23:24:09:
In Reply to: Make-A-Band poll posted by Will Turner, Karaoke King on May 23, 2003 at 17:32:16:
: 1. What would your style be?
Electronic classical with a punk twist. (think: Scandinavian competive Yodeling meets Vanilla Ice.)
: 2. Who would your line up be?
The Swedish Chef (lead Yodeling Vocals)
Ross Geller (Keyboards)
Myself on the Green Tambourine
Skyler and the Lords of the Underworld (lead guitar, bass guitar and drums)
*Occational guest vocals by Tom Jones
: 3. Where would you like to perform?
Random innercity subway stations.
: 4. What would your name be?
gastroentérite flamboyante
: 5. What would your first album be called?
Only $19.95! (Sorry, No COD)
: 6. What was your second album be called?
Just Kidding
: 7. Everyone has a difficult third album. Why was yours difficult?
After the first two albums failed to make Billboards top 200 list, record label execs sent two large men named Bruce and Gino to break my legs as a warning, leaving the band in the lurch without a tambourine player of any color.
: 8. Give yourself three big scandals?
The media errupts with blazing rumors about the Swedish Chef's alleged cocaine habit.
The band spends hours waiting in Judge Judy's courtroom over a copyright infringement suit involving the use of a hook from the song "Under Pressure." We adamantly denied the similarities, demonstrating that our hook had a definitive "tss" at the end of the sequence. Judgement is still pending.
Several months later paparazzi had a field day taking hundreds of unauthorized photos (ok, only one photo) when Skyler was rushed to a local hospital after having chopped off his own digit during a sushi making demonstration. (ok, they were actually trying to photograph Anna Nicole Smith after the reduction and we just got in the way...)
: 9. Every band needs a feud/ celeb/ politician to badmouth. Which would you badmouth?
We have a long standing feud with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Ever since they decided to make fun of us on the school yard we've just been waiting for our chance to get revenge.
: 10. Why did your ficitonal band split up?
Tragedy occurred last Friday when emergency units were called to the scene of what can only be described of as a truely, deeply disturbing puppet mutilation. The Swedish Chef's stuffing strewn mansion was awash in reporters and rogue sanitation technicians trying to peice together a story so horrifing it was unimaginable. Even by me.