Posted by AshFan at cpe-65-25-198-76.mn.rr.com on June 12, 2003 at 10:32:56:
What was your most humiliating/embarrassing moment?
I will start things off.
It was 2 years ago, and my wife and I first realized we would be having trouble conceiving. We were both scheduled to go in and get tested... all I had to do was make a small deposit in a cup, and then drop it off at the hospital lab.
That morning was also the day of our company chili cook off. I got out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, and went to the kitchen to add my 'secret ingredient' (Blair's 2am hot sauce) to my chili. This would guarantee my victory in the "hot" category. The bottle is wax sealed and I had a devil of a time getting the top off, I eventually did, and I added it to the chili.
Ok, now it's time to "make my deposit", so I head to the bathroom and complete the deed. Just as I am zipping up, I begin to feel a curious burning sensation all over my 'special purpose'... and it was getting worse... so bad in fact that I yelped and tore my pants off and jumped in the shower aiming the cold stream at it in am attempt to put out the fire. I realized after a couple of experiments with soap, that I had hot sauce all over my hands, even though I had washed them, and I was just putting more heat on with every attempt to scrub. I grabbed my wife's luffa and squired shampoo all over it and dug in. After around 10 minutes, the pain was down to a tolerable level, and I planned my next move. I knew we had some aloe from our Mexico trip under the sink, and I knew I could make it that far without the water. So, I jumped out of the tub, grabbed the towel on the rack (white) and took out the aloe, dumped a huge gob of it on the towel, and... splat, coated myself rather messily with aloe. Little did I know that this aloe had another ingredient called 'lanocane' which cause a whole new world of sensation. After dancing around the bathroom for another 5 minutes, I got dressed, and headed to the lab. I won the chili cook off, and my 'sample' turned out ok, even with the added ingredients.
My wife called me on the way in, curious about the big blue spot on her new white towels, and I told her the story. She thought it was much funnier than I did at the time, but I have learned to appreciate it.