Posted by Elmo Machete at ool-18ba0f7a.dyn.optonline.net on July 28, 2003 at 02:11:54:
Because someone started a whole new thread on it, so nobody'll scroll all the way down to just read mine. These aren;t the five worst films I've ever seen, these are just the most pissed I was leaving the theater.
1. Batman and Robin. This was one of the first movie that I saw when the cynic in me started showing its true colors, and I openly said "Wow, that was awful". I couldn't get over the horrid line "She wants to kill you, DICK."
2. Star Wars: Episode One. I was pissed because there was no way it could possibly live up to the hype. Plus, I had to pee so bad that I had to lean on my Mom for support because I finished one of those GIANT FUCKING commemorative cups of soda they always give the big movies. I drank it within the first twenty minutes, 'cause it was hot out that day.
3. The Hulk. Not because it was bad, but because the screen broke, so I couldn't really say if it was good or bad. Also, there was no way they could live up to this hype either. They advertised this out the ass, more than their bigger properties like Spiderman and X-Men. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Hulk poster on the fucking moon.
4. Spawn. I promptly vomited when I left the theater, and no I'm not kidding. It wasn't because the movie was bad (although it was), it was because I was a very heat sensitive kid, and when I got into the hot car I got god-awfully sick. I also got motion sickness until I was aboot thirteen too. I didn't socialize much as a small kid.
5. Tomb Raider. I got suckered into this one because my best friend's dad had died earlier that weekend (and he took it the best I'd ever seen anyone take it. He had been sick for a long time, I can't even remember him ever being totally healthy. My friend must've dealt with the awful truth a long time before it happened), and a bunch of his relatives that were around our age were in town for the funeral the next day. They wanted to go to a movie, and this was the only thing really playing that they could agree on, and I didn't want to leave him hanging after his dad just passed. Best part aboot the film - the sound broke in the end, so in the last shot where the music blares on the freeze frame of her pointing the two guns? Dead silence for about twenty seconds, drowned out by huge laughter. Then I went home and saw Evolution with my sister and her boyfriend.