aha! we both picked good burger! *nt*

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: : It's light, refreshing, and can be used for a girl OR a boy.... : : : My wife and I have yet to name our child, who is due to pop out in late October/ : : early November. We have chosen NOT to find out if it is a boy or girl until the birth, : : as we both think that not knowing will add something to the actual birth (as if : : pushing something the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon isn't : : special enough). We've thought over names and have come up with countless boy : : and girl titles and, frankly, each one sounds as good as the next. But now we're : : stuck, so I appealed to the wife and asked her if I could come here looking for help. : : : So, here's the deal. What follows is a list of questions and movie quotes. If you : : are the first to get each correct and answer the subjective questions to my liking, : : you will name my child. Seriously, whatever name you come up with for a boy will : : be the kid's name if he is a he, and whatever name you come up with for a girl will : : be the kid's name if she is a she. (And believe me, if you come up with anything : : TOO off-the-wall like, say, Weebl for a boy and Angelfish for a girl, you shall be : : disqualified and the runner-up will name the kid. And also believe me, I know how : : low this is sinking, but it's our last resort.) : : : So, onto the questions. : : : 1. If you know, how did your parent(s) name you? And if you don't know, then who : : or what would you like to think you're named after? : : I am named after my drunken embarrassment of a grandfather in the hope that I : : could redeem the name...Nope, ain't worked yet... : : : 2. If you have a child or children, how did you come up with his/her/their name(s)? : : Named him after his father... UPSman has a nice ring : : : 3. What is your favorite movie? : : Better Off Dead : : : 4. What is your favorite book? : : Tie: Catcher in the Rye and To Kill a Mockingbird : : : 5. What is your favorite comic book? : : Currently: JSA Of all Time: New Teen Titans (they printed my letter when I was : : twelve) : : : 6. What is your favorite television show? : : Buffy the Vampire Slayer : : : 7. Recall briefly the most embarrassing moment of your life. : : I was at aparty when I was 16... I was chatting up a very attractive young lady...I put : : my hand on a counter and shifted all my weight down...My hand found a slick : : substance and away I went...confident that the wall would brake my fall, I put up NO : : resistance...until the wall gave way and I slammed thru to the other side...TRUE : : STORY : : : 8. Recall briefly the most enjoyable moment of your life (non-sexual). : : The birth of my own son. : : : 9. If you could have one superpower, what superpower would you choose? : : Flight, because Jersey drivers SUCK! : : : 10. What would you say is your "catch phrase"? : : "Get off the road, YA HUMP!!!" : : : Now for the quotes. : : : 1. "Show Dick some respect." : : Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club : : : 2. "You're killing me, Smalls!" : : Umm....MalcolmLoad??? : : : 3. "People who talk in metaphors can shampoo my crotch." : : Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets : : : 4. "She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight." : : Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice : : : 5. "You mean to tell me you couldn't murder a Big Mac?" : : Good Burger? : : : 6. "What about the Clunky Wunky dance?" : : Robin Williams in Death To Smoochie : : : 7. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a homicide." : : Bone Collector : : : 8. "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school." : : Say It Isn't So... : : : 9. "Not if you want to keep your spleen." : : Armageddon : : : 10. "Be excellent to each other." : : Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure : : : The first to get all the quotes correct and give insightful, humorous (if that's what : : you're going for), satisfying answers to the subjective questions will be given the : : once-in-a-lifetime (unless we decide to have another one) chance to name my : : child.

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