Posted by Eyes Only at zeb.zqwdrqsz.com on August 22, 2003 at 16:42:16:
An English taxidermist was on holiday in Australia. Like a typical flaming Pommy bastard, he wandered off in the bush and got himself lost. He roamed for hours under the blazing outback sun until, amazingly, he found himself at this pub, right in the middle of flaming nowhere, but right next to a shearing shed and a hotel.
Jeez, he was so parched... He staggered into the bar where there was a decent bunch of ockers standing around. The barman asked him what he wanted. He was too crook to think straight so he asked for the same drink he always aked for back home in his poofy pub in Pomland.
"I'll have a gin and tonic, with a twist of lemon."
"A fuckin' gin and fuckin' tonic with a twist of fuckin' lemon? You must be a fuckin' Pommy bastard."
"Er, yes I am, actuaslly."
One of the ockers approached in a menacing manner.
"Fuckin' Pommy bastard, eh? What do yer do fer a livin' over in that there Pommy land to pay fer fuckin' gin and fuckin' tonic with a twist of fuckin' lemon?"
"Er, I'm a taxidermist, actually," replied the man, nervously.
"A fuckin' whatadermist?"
"Taxidermist."
"And what does a fuckin' taxidermist do?"
"I mount dead animals and stuff them."
"It's OK, mates," says the barman, "he's one of us."