Posted by Jim Shady at 64.236.224.52 on September 18, 2003 at 13:16:44:
In Reply to: Kevin Smith dilemmas... posted by Eyes Only on September 18, 2003 at 12:57:34:
: 1) You are queuing at the bank. You suddenly realise that the dude behind you is Kevin Smith. What do you do?
Wonder why the hell he has an account in London.
: 2) You are wandering aimlessly along the sidewalk, internalising and pondering the meaning of life. You look up to see Kevin Smith watching a chicken cross the road and scribbling in a note book (Kev scribbling, not the chicken, silly). What do you think the great man is writing?
"Chicken = fried chicken. Fried chicken = bone. Bone = fucking."
Alternatively, it's a diary, and he's writing "I wonder if that chap I saw in the bank earlier is stalking me?"
: 3) Do you think that those with the same initials as Kevin Smith ought to be given a special place of honour on this board?
Even those who are halfway there.
: 4) Kevin calls you at home. He has just arrived in town. The hotels are all full. Your house is also full, but one is occupied by an arthritic aged doubly incontinent relative who everybody hates. What do you tell Kev?
There's always a space for a friend.
: 5) You are staying in the Radisson Plaza Hotel, Davenport, Iowa. You are riding the atrium lift - you know, the one with all glass sides that everyone in the inner atrium can see into. It stops at the second floor and Kevin gets in. You are the only occupants. He presses the button for the fourth floor but the lift gets stuck between the third and fourth floors. What do you do (bearing in mind your total visibility to the hoi polloi)?
Hurl him out through the side and shout "Fly fatass, fly!"
Alternatively, grin nervously, murmur some incomprehensible babbling about how annoying it is to be stuck and pray for deliverance before I lapse into fanboy wankishness and start shouting about how great Mallrats is.
Jim